my big fat nyc experience

a little DOE ridiculousness

2011-12-11T19:37:00.000-05:00

dear sally, you have to meet noel!

2011-11-08T00:09:00.001-05:00

Living in New York City definitely has its perks—pretty reliable public transportation, delectable restaurants that can fit any budget, culture galore, diversity that makes the heart sing, and convenience at every corner. Another perk for us common folk is the saturation of movie/television/music stars that live in or visit the city on a regular basis. I’d like to say that I am not the type to get star struck, but let’s face it—my ability to crush on just about any type of good looking man makes New York City—a city crawling with beautiful faces and recognizable personalities—a perfect breeding ground for stars in my eyes and butterflies in my stomach.

A couple of months ago I had yet another stop-me-in-my-tracks moment. I LOVE THIS CITY!!!

For those of you who know me, you might recall my deep love for the now decade old television series, Felicity. (I actually blogged about my Ben vs. Noel dilemma awhile ago.) Please note that I faithfully watch this 4-season series every year. I don’t know why, but I love it. And if I’m going to put it all out there…it’s part of the reason I wanted to move to New York. Yes, I know it’s cliché.

Back to the story…I was out with my friends—Tami, Christian, and Scott. We had decided to catch a movie after dinner at Momofuku’s one night (the Ginger Scallion Noodles were to die for) and found ourselves at the AMC theatre on 19^th and 5^th Ave. I bought my ticket and was the first to enter the theater and then from across the room, I saw him by the concession stand. I stopped. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t take my eyes off of this beautiful man. His casual look and clean-cut hairstyle got me going in less than two seconds. And though he wasn’t facing me dead on, I knew the second I laid eyes on his neck, shoulders, and back, that it was him. Pathetic, but true. In an effort to subtly tell Tami who I had just spied, I found myself getting that nervous/excited/throw-up feeling at the pit of my stomach, quickly working it’s way up. Don’t worry, I didn’t hurl. All I could say was, “It’s Noel, Noel. It’s Noel.” The room was loud as it was bustling with people for some premiere so it made it difficult to hear my sputterings. Finally, I was able to link my brain to my words and I nodded towards where he stood and was able to articulate that Scott Foley was there. Scott and Christian didn’t bat an eye. Tami quickly rose to my level of excitement. (In the picture below, he is one centimeter left of the stream of light coming from the center of the ceiling. Brown hair, black shirt. Kind of like Heaven parting and saying, "Here he is!")

Long story short, we weren’t in the same theatre—obviously—and I didn’t actually dream that we would see him again. I convinced myself that the one time spotting was as good as it gets. We left, as the credits began to roll in our theatre, and to my astonishment, the premiere crowd had just recently excited theirs as well. Stars were lining up to for photo opps in front of the step and repeat and there didn’t seem to be any sort of security. The famous and layman were all mixed in there together.

My eyes, of course, were fixed upon only one person from the premiere, however. He wasn’t in the movie, clearly just there for the screening, so he headed for the door pretty quickly. We dutifully followed a few paces behind. He ended up near some telephone booths right outside the theatre. And the best part about this was that he was all alone. Perfect opportunity for us to approach him. In that instant, I turned shy. I didn’t want to be one of those fans that annoyingly seek out and approach actors. I was above that and I wanted to respect his privacy and attempt at a normal life. One could argue, I suppose, that by going into this type of work, you automatically forfeit that right to normalcy, but hey, I like the guy so I wanted to give him a break.

Luckily, I was with Scott, who wasn’t as taken with him as I was and he stepped in for me. (THANK YOU, SCOTT!!!) (Don’t be confused, we’ve got two Scotts in this story.)

“Hi Scott, this is my friend Malia (points towards me, Scott Foley looks in my direction and smiles). She’s a huge fan. Can she get her picture taken with you?”

I inched my way closer to Scott Foley. “Of course, sweetheart.” He smiled his crooked grin and stuck out his hand for me to take. He looked deep into my eyes and in the sweetest Noel voice you can possibly imagine, he said, “My name is Scott. Nice to meet you.” “Hi, I’m Malia,” was my reply. At this he put his arm around me while Tami readied her phone to take a picture. I couldn’t get over how beautiful he was in person. I mean, I knew he was gorgeous. I’ve studied every inch of his face for years, but in person, he was beyond DREAMY!

She snapped the picture. I was ready to say thanks and give Tami her turn, but Scott asked me if I wanted to check the picture. I was surprised by how thoughtful he was. Again, I was starting to feel guilty impeding on his personal time, but I guess that comes with the territory. Still the same, I was impressed that his kindness was genuine. I took a look at the picture and quickly decided that I needed another attempt. After all, this was a historic event and compared to him, I looked like I had just spent a night on the streets.

“Can we take just one more?” (I purposely turned to look up into those beautiful green eyes again. I needed one more peek while I was this close.) “Sure, sweetie,” was his once again melt-me-in-my-tracks reply. A did a mental cha-ching in my head. I got TWO terms of endearment! Sigh. Again, he put is arm around me. I wanted to just nestle into him but decided against it. He is a married man, after all.

We snapped the picture and then Tami took her turn. I still wasn't that pleased with the final product, but I'll take it. I seem to always look like frump girl when I want to be opposite of frump girl. Que sera, sera. We thanked him whole-heartedly and walked away, in the opposite direction, giving off the air of “No big deal”, all the while DYING inside. The Noel/Scott Foley high lasted quite a while and even now, if I think about it, it makes me grin from ear to ear. Scott Foley, you are a dreamboat. You made my night and you warmed my little heart. Thank you!

waiting for superman

2011-10-10T19:55:00.001-04:00

A few months ago, I saw the thought provoking film, "Waiting for Superman". It's a documentary directed by Davis Guggenheim ("An Inconvenient Truth") about the state of public and charter schools. Before you jump to any conclusions or automatically dismiss the film as propaganda, you have to admit that education in the United States needs some work. If you can't agree to at least that, stop reading and go play your mindless video games.

Having been raised by two public school educators, I learned early on the value of a good education and have also gained some insight into the complexities of this system. My profession as a social worker has also provided me with insider knowledge about the failings or gains within the system. And thankfully, I have been the beneficiary of a positive school experience and higher education.

That being said, this film was scary, depressing, and a bit overwhelming. Clearly, it was slanted in favor of the privatization of schools. It highlighted the blockage of progress through bureaucracy, lack of resources, unions, and "bad" teachers. It made public education out to be the devil and worse yet, it inferred that public school educators were lazy, uncaring, sub-par in relation to performance, and unwilling to do what is best for their students. Granted, there are those in the field who have legitimately checked out, those that are tired, those that are lazy, and those that are just plain bad. But I would argue that they didn't start out that way. I would assert that most people who go into education start with a passion for learning and have a sincere desire to make a difference in the life of a student. How those few bad teachers get from point A to point B is another story.

I guess my frustration with the system is that it really isn't about education anymore. It is about which political party can come up with the most ridiculous legislation and get it passed as law. Teachers are being asked to do more with less. They are being forced to teach to a test in order to keep their jobs. They are being asked to take on more and more and are not being compensated nor respected. It drives me nuts. In other countries, educators are revered...in the US, for some reason, they are criticized. I know that there are bad teachers, but I think that we forget about the good ones...and that to me is quite tragic.

reality check

2011-10-03T21:48:00.006-04:00

I subscribe to a housing list serve because people are always asking me about places to live in NYC and let’s face it, it’s sometimes fun to see what is available and who’s moving in and out of the city. I have to laugh, however, at the poor souls who have not a clue about the nightmare that is moving to and renting in NYC. I feel sorry for the poor suckers who list things like this:

“Hi! I’m looking for a really affordable apartment--$600 to $800. Doesn’t need furniture or anything else really. But I would like a washer and dryer, one or two bedrooms, an elevator is preferred, and I also have a cat.”

I sometimes have to resist the urge to write to them despite not having any info on an apartment just to give them a dose of reality.

Dear You Wish,

Most apartments in NYC are not affordable—furnished or unfurnished. Finding a one bedroom apartment for less than $1200 is nothing short of a miracle—don’t even think about getting a two bedroom for that. Washers and dryers IN the apartment? Don’t count on it. And your cat? You might actually have luck with that one. For a budget of $600 to $800 anticipate sharing a bedroom and living in Inwood, Washington Heights, or in Harlem…hopefully your new roommie isn’t allergic to cats. If this is not affordable to you, you might want to consider living in an affordable city.

Best of luck,
Reality Check

five minutes of my life

2011-09-29T20:07:00.001-04:00

4:35:00pm--Open Sephora compact to freshen up for cocktail party. A chunk of dark green eye shadow shakes loose and spills onto my white blouse in the not-so-subtle location of my chest.

4:35:30pm--Brush it off causing it to smear and work it's way deeper into the material. Pause. Panic sets in.

4:36:00pm--Put down compact. Reach for Clorox Bleach Pen in desk drawer.

4:36:15pm--Open bleach pen. Contents from pen drip onto dark denim skirt.

4:36:30pm--Paralyzed by panic. Can't decide what to address first.

4:37:00pm--Frantically grab a paper towel. Open water bottle. Spill contents onto keyboard and then onto skirt.

4:37:30pm--Mop up water paying particular attention to the bleach spot on my skirt. (FAIL)

4:38:00pm--Use bleach pen to try to get eye shadow out. (FAIL)

4:39:30pm--Use paper towel from above to wipe my arm. Smear green eye shadow on the entire underside.

4:39:50pm--Laugh

never forgotten. forever grateful.

2011-09-11T22:00:00.001-04:00

All eyes have been on the city this weekend. And rightly so. Ten year anniversaries are monumental. I vividly remember September 11, 2001 and the deep sadness that I felt as the events of the day unfolded. Having just returned from New York City exactly one week prior to the attacks, I felt a tie to the city. And having lost my father just one year before the attacks, I felt a tie to those who had now tragically lost loved ones. I remember feeling, once again, a deep, deep sadness and intimately knew the pain and tears of those thousands of families left behind. I knew that their story was different than mine, but the loss and heartache that came with that loss was the same.

I moved to the city less than 2 years later and have called New York City my home ever since. My love for the city and my love for the people who reside here grows each year. As I watch coverage of then and now, those feelings of sadness still well up. But along with these sad memories, a sense of pride for those that willingly risked their lives on behalf of others also stirs and gratitude for the many miracles that took place & lives that were saved also surfaces. I hope that this anniversary will remind us of what is really important--that we rededicate ourselves to love that knows no boundaries, to kindness withheld from no one, and a renewed and abiding faith in God.

mr. nyc?

2011-07-11T14:05:00.000-04:00

I find it interesting that we herald sports figures as heroes when in fact the reason we honor them has nothing to do with true heroism. Case in point, Derek Jeter of the NY Yankees recently became the 28^th player in baseball history to reach 3000 hits, with a homerun no less, on Saturday, July 9^th. A tremendous accomplishment for sure, but does it earn him the title of Mr. NYC as one local paper printed this morning? On the other hand, this type of stardom can lead to bigger and better things. In 1996, Jeter founded The Turn 2 Foundation, a charity organization that helps children and teenagers avoid drug and alcohol addiction. It also rewards those who demonstrate high academic achievement. As a result of Jeter’s history making homerun, Gillette plans to donate $50K to this worthy cause. To me, the foundation speaks more to heroism than does being an incredible athlete. But perhaps you can’t have one without the other? In the end, I still say that society’s priorities are a bit skiwampus.

men who carry badges

2011-05-17T22:10:00.004-04:00

I recently discovered a new category of men that—I’m not going to lie—kind of floats my boat…Men Who Carry Badges. Now, granted, not every man that carries a badge will make me want to flirt shamelessly and have his babies, but the one I met last night certainly did. I suppose it didn’t hurt that he was 6’ 2”, EXTREMELY easy on the eyes, quite the gentleman and HI-LARIOUS.

We met last night through a mutual friend. All four of us-- Mr. Badge, me, said friend, and another one of her friends all attended a taping of the Colbert Report. Needless to say we had so much fun. By the end of the evening my face hurt because I couldn’t stop laughing and at one point, I almost threw up because I was laughing so hard. Good times.

Here’s a recap of one of my favorite parts:

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

5/16/11 in :60 Seconds

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor & Satire Blog

Video Archive

Anyway, afterward, we all went to dinner and I got to examine his badge. I don’t know what came over me, but in that moment, he was the hottest thing on the planet. (Oh, I will just DIE a thousand deaths if he ever finds this…) Now, before you all get excited, nothing happened. Too bad for him. J But like I said, I’ve added a new category…or maybe it was just him. J

late night with jimmy fallon!

2011-05-14T09:23:00.001-04:00

I just may have attended the taping of Jimmy Fallon on Thursday, May 12, 2011. And I just may have been selected to be on stage during Lauryn Hill's performances. And if you look real closely, you just may see me and my friends (me, Matt Osmond, Courtney Young, and Betsy McPherson) on the right hand side of the stage, jamming, just as we were instructed....I mean, jamming as we were feeling the music. (But really, we were. Lauryn Hill was pretty amazing and it was fun to watch the band. We were right above the drummer.)

We also saw Maya Rudolph of SNL & Bridesmaids and Nick Offerman of Parks & Rec.

Best part of the taping, however, was Jimmy Fallon. He's hilarious and very, very easy on the eyes...

Thanks, Courtney, for scoring tickets!!!

never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved...

2011-05-06T22:08:00.000-04:00

Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved...

This phrase ran through my head today, seconds after a brief encounter with one of my coworkers. This woman was friendly, had always been kind and helpful. We had worked together occasionally but not consistently, and I had always appreciated knowing her and the help that she had provided me in the past. Her last day was today and her going-away party was two days prior. I had signed a "Good Luck" card.

I searched her out today shortly after 5:00pm in hopes that I could wish her well in person but randomly ran into her in the restroom, making that search seem quite unplanned. I had been meaning to and had actually started a more personalized goodbye note but never got around to sending it. I had also failed to attend her goodbye party because of a difficult and extremely busy week. After all, I had a million emails, phone calls, and two large events to be planned.

We chatted briefly and as always she was as kind as ever but one thing she said cut to the core. Her intent was not malicious or condemning, but it deemed personal reprimand. "You didn't come to my party." Out of the throngs of employees that knew and loved her, she noticed that I wasn't there. I fumbled over my words offering a flimsy excuse of getting caught up in work, having every intention of coming downstairs, blah, blah, blah. I was able to recover quickly, wished her well, and gave her a hug. But those words have stuck with me all day and I am ashamed.

I let a problem to be solved become more important than a person. Yes, work is important. The work that I was doing was important. But I could have spared ten minutes. Work could have waited. And yet it didn't and I am left with regret. Today's experience reminded me that our decisions define us and that when all is said and done, it's not going to matter if we closed that extra deal or if we sent out that email reminder according to schedule. What really matters in life, is how we treat people and what we become as a result.

it is a truth universally acknowledged...

2011-04-24T19:54:00.000-04:00

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when a single woman in possession of a good mind is in want of a husband, and that man whom she has chosen is not in want of a wife, that woman may, if the situation necessitates, naturally turn to melancholy tunes and heart wrenching text while lying in the dark.

However little known the lyrics or melody of such music may be upon the first listen, this ritual, so well fixed in the minds of young females from the very beginning, is considered a God-given right in the face of what we call unrequited love.

To be continued...when I'm once again in the Jane Austen sort of a mood...

oh.......my........OH.......MY.....OH MY!!!!!

2011-03-22T22:53:00.011-04:00

There are few times in my life where I can say that I have actually been stopped dead in my tracks, where my breath has caught in my chest and my brain function was impaired for a short moment. The most recent occasion happened last Friday night (March 11, 2011--gotta remember this date, after all.).

Christian and I had just finished a phenomenal Peruvian dinner at Panca in the West Village. We had stopped to buy mangoes, poked our heads into a cafe for a kitchen sink cookie at Amy's Bread and then decided to go back to that first market for some pomegranate seeds. Arm in arm, we walked down the semi-crowded sidewalk. A trio of men, walking in the opposite direction, approached us. As they drew closer, my brain registered something incredibly familiar. I knew that beautiful face, that chiseled jawline, and those piercing blue eyes behind black-framed glasses...

MATTHEW BOMER!!!

Now for those of you who know ANYTHING about me, you would know how much I love this man! Matthew Bomer plays the sexy conman turned FBI consultant on USA's White Collar. I fell in love with him the moment he showed up on the screen. I loved him then. I love him now. And I'm pretty sure that I will love him always. Every time I watch the show, see a commercial or even see an ad on a bus, it feels like he is flashing that come hither smile just for me. That's some serious star power.

Now, I usually don't get star struck, but I will admit, I was a little with him. OK, fine. Maybe I was a little more than just a little star struck. Maybe I got so excited I almost threw up. Maybe I made Christian turn around so that we could follow him for a few blocks...OK, more than a few blocks. :) Common sense got the best of me, however, and I finally decided to stop the stalking the poor man. My one regret is that I didn't have any sort of interaction with him. He was out with friends. I didn't want to be that annoying fan that never lets a star have a personal life. So close but so far away!!! But oh my! In the words of my mother upon telling her the news, "That must have been thrilling for you." Yes....yes, it was.

by the sweat of thy brow

2011-03-10T16:33:00.001-05:00

The other day in Relief Society (third hour of church for just the women in the congregation that are over 18) our lesson was on Work and Personal Responsibility. People shared their thoughts on being actively engaged in a career, the sacred work of motherhood, and the importance of work in relation to well being. Being raised in a family where we were taught to work at a very young age, I admit that I was almost shocked at some of the responses that some of the mothers in the ward (congregation) were giving.

I remember working at a very young age--pulling weeds in the garden, hauling rocks, mowing the lawn, trimming the hedges. I remember washing dishes, sweeping floors, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming the living room, and helping to organize the basement (yes, it was organized at one point). I remember selling shaved ice in the summer, helping my dad cater luaus, working at the Orem Summer Fest, and practicing the hula so we could perform. I remember helping with food deliveries, visiting my parents' older friends that didn't get out much, babysitting, babysitting, and more babysitting.

I learned to work and I worked a lot. I wasn't asked if I wanted to work. I wasn't even asked what I wanted to do. I was told to do it and was expected to do it. I wasn't left to my own devices either. Not only was I shown how to get the job done, but also, my parents worked alongside me. Yes, there was complaining. Yes, there were times when I HATED my life. I remember many summer mornings sitting on a pile of lava rocks in the back yard, crying while I had to pull weeds out from among the thorny rose bushes while spiders and other creepy crawly insects brushed against my bare legs. But it wasn't the end of the world. I made it through. And those days of hard work were often rewarded with a fun treat, outing, or even cash.

Only with age and exposure to other people's growing-up stories, do I realize how lucky I am to have the parents that I do. They taught me an invaluable principle and work ethic and I will be forever grateful for that.

Some of the women in Relief Society were wondering how to teach their children the value of work. They don't want to give their kids too much responsibility because they're kids are "SO BUSY", they don't know how to delegate, they would rather skip the complaining and do it themselves...because after all, it would be faster and the quality would be better. But honestly? Is that really how you want to raise your kids? Do you want to teach them that other people will take care of their messes because of lack of time? Do you want to send your children off to college without the knowledge of how to do laundry, make a bed, wash dishes, or keep a clean house? Do you want to teach your kids that they don't have to shoulder any sort of responsibility in a familial setting...just because you don't want to hear them complain? These types of responses scare me and anger me at the same time. We wonder why children feel entitled and why there are so many societal problems. I would venture to say that much of that comes because these younger generations (I sound old now) have not learned the value of work and the tremendous amount of satisfaction that comes from a job well done. And don't even get me started on the invaluable skills acquired while you work!

I realize that I am not a parent. My time is my own. I don't have to maintain a household outside of myself. I don't have kids that complain, throw tantrums, or make a bigger mess while attempting to help. But I still maintain that parents have a sacred responsibility to teach this very principle. And quite honestly? There are parents who do it...then and now.

So if your kids start to cry and throw a tantrum....let them cry. If your kids' lives are too busy with soccer practice, piano lessons, ballet, and any other sort of extracurricular activity, free up an hour or two and drop one of those lessons. Teaching your children the value of work will have a bigger payoff than a little league trophy. I guarantee you that.

End of rant.

brian boyle=love

2011-03-06T15:41:00.006-05:00

Just wanted to post a few pictures of my new boyfriend. Here he is...Brian Boyle of the NY Rangers.

Number: 22

Height: 6' 7"

Weight: 244

Shoots: Left

Born: Dec 18, 1984 (Age 26)

Birthplace: Hingham, MA, United States

According to one round of MASH, Brian and I will marry, honeymoon in New Zealand, have 4 kids, live in a Mansion in New York, and I will spend my days as a chef. We're very happy. Thank you, Children's Aid for the free tickets and for introducing me to my new love.

o-oh, livin' on a prayer!

2011-03-02T23:41:00.004-05:00

There are quite a few strains of music that make my heart want to leap out of my chest, but even fewer that make me want to leap out of my seat. On Thursday, February 24th 2011 at MSG, I learned that Bon Jovi's music does both for me.

I've always been a fan of Bon Jovi. In fact, I remember the exact moment that I first heard his music and fell in love with it. We were taking an extended family trip down to Mesquite, NV to visit my Aunt Susan and her family that lived down there. For reasons I cannot remember, I rode with my cousins instead of my family. The drive was a good 5 or 6 hours back then (read: parents driving. no speeding.) and I recall that Aunt Brenda and Uncle Dan let the kids rotate music. Greg, one of my older cousins had a Bon Jovi album (I think it was a cassette tape) and my younger cousin Diane, had Paula Abdul's "Forever Your Girl". For some reason, I only remember those two being played. But from the first strains of "Livin' On A Prayer" to the last, I knew that my life would never be the same. (See the video here.)

So on the night of the Bon Jovi concert, when my ears heard the words, "Shot through the heart", my heart kicked me to my feet. I wanted to scream louder than my body would actually allow me to but I did manage to get out a scream that showcased my approval and excitement.

Now Bon Jovi puts on a great show. He is keenly aware of his audience and what they want to hear. He played for nearly three hours and took a measly five minute break. And can I just say, that for a rock star who is in his late 40's he was looking really good! :)

My favorite part of the show, however, was his last encore number--"Livin' On A Prayer". Everyone was on their feet, fist pumping, singing, clapping, and grinning wildly...or maybe that was just me. It was as if a life long dream had been fulfilled. For that one moment, I was a part of something universal and the world was a happy place. Thanks, Tami, for wanting to experience the power of Bon Jovi with me. It was all I ever hoped for and dreamed of....well, almost. Had he sung "Always" it would have been perfect perfect as opposed to just perfect.

If interested, you'll find the set list below:

Last Man Standing

You Give Love A Bad Name

Born To Be My Baby

We Weren't Born To Follow

Lost Highway

When We Were Beautiful

It's My Life

Runaway

Superman Tonight

The More Things Change

Bad Medicine/Pretty Woman

Lay Your Hands On Me (Richie vox)

Make A Memory

I'll Be There For You (duet)

Something For The Pain

Someday I'll Be Saturday Night

Who Says You Can't Go Home

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead/Start Me Up

No Apologies

Have A Nice Day

Keep The Faith

In These Arms

Wanted Dead Or Alive
Livin' On A Prayer

jazzed

2011-02-28T16:04:00.001-05:00

My mom is probably one of the biggest Utah Jazz fans I know. I've always been a lover of basketball but I am almost certain that part of the reason I am so invested in the game...especially in my Utah Jazz...is because of her enthusiasm and yes, undying devotion for the team.

Example 1: A little while ago, my mom recounted her first experiences with and thoughts on Jon, my sister's husband. She recalls that he had started to come around quite a bit, that he seemed really nice, was a hard worker, liked the Jazz, and treated my sister well. I found it hysterical that out of all the qualities that she could have mentioned about a potential son-in-law, one of the qualities that she felt so important to actually mention was his affinity for the Jazz. So if by some off chance, my future husband is reading this, please note: Make sure that you like the Jazz...or at least pretend to...or as a last result, at least like basketball.

Example 2: Living across the country doesn't always allow me to get home as often as I would like. Thankfully, I am able to go home about two or three times a year. What I find to be really comical is that despite the distance that I have traveled and despite the limited time I have at home, if there is a Jazz game on, she would really rather just sit and watch that together than go out. Again, it's a good thing that I like basketball.

Example 3: For those of you who don't know, my mother is a first grade teacher at Cherry Hill Elementary. It's the same elementary school that I attended starting in the second grade and is conveniently located about two blocks away from our home. For the last 13 years the Utah Jazz have been encouraging and supporting literacy among school-aged children through a reading contest named "Be a Team Player--Read". Cherry Hill Elementary has been participating for the last few years and is one of 58 schools in the state of Utah that decided to participate this year. The top 10 schools that accumulate the most out-of-school-time minutes reading win an ice cream party and a visit from a Jazz Player. Two years ago, Cherry Hill ranked among the top schools and happily received a visit from Ronnie Brewer (now with the Bulls). None of us were there to witness this glorious moment, but a picture of my mother next to Brewer clearly indicated that she was on cloud nine. I don't know if I've ever seen a bigger smile in one of her pictures. As mentioned, Cherry Hill participated in the contest during the month of February. I'm not going to lie, I wanted Cherry Hill to win so badly that I may have prayed for it a couple of times. Happily, they won and will be rewarded with a visit from a player soon. We're not sure who it will be now that D-Will has flown the coop (I know, he was traded.), but he will be a Jazz player still the same and I cannot wait to see the new pictures!

Example 4: My mom and I text every day. It's usually in the morning or if something really significant happens...or if something happens with the Jazz. I usually hear about a win or a tough loss. Needless to say, the day that Jerry Sloan resigned we exchanged quite a few...same with the D. Williams trade. It was during the D. Williams trade text conversation that I realized how happy I was that this is something that we can share together. It may sound silly or trite, but it is something that we both love and can talk about. It's brought us closer and I kind of love that.

My hope is that one day I can take her to a Jazz game...and not just a nose-bleed seat Jazz game, but one that is really close to the court. I guess I should start saving my nickles, eh?

you can't always have what you want

2011-02-24T15:00:00.002-05:00

Human nature is such that we always want what we can’t have. Perhaps always is too strong of a word but I would say that fairly often, that is the case. Wanting something else is not in and of itself a bad thing. It is a contributor or a catalyst to change and progress. But if left unchecked, it can also lead to a myriad of other problems that range from feeling entitled, selfishly dodging responsibility, greedily seeking after something that is not rightfully yours, and being generally dissatisfied with life—all under the umbrella of “I want what is not mine.”

I experienced such a thought today as I was walking past the windows of Duane Reade and noticed that Easter candy is now lining their shelves. Normally, those types of sugary substances can’t tempt me but for some reason they did today. The reason? I am preparing to start yet another cleanse. I am not entirely sure how I will fair with this one compared to the last. This one is only 7 days but the restrictions are still pretty extreme. No dairy, no meat, no refined or processed anything. It’s basically a vegan/raw diet without the help of any outside manufacturer. I can eat as much fruit, vegetables, brown rice, nuts, beans/lentils, and herbs as I want, but again the trick is that everything must basically be natural and homemade.

You would think that with all of my experimenting, previous cleanses, self-imposed observances of Lent (Yes, I know I am not Catholic) and the like, that this would be a breeze…but I don’t think it will. While I have adopted several really good habits along the way—eliminating this and making sure that I make my own that—I still anticipate that this will be difficult. The level of torture is yet to be determined.

Back to the candy. I am nearly 100% certain that the reason I suddenly wanted to purchase bags upon bags of refined sugar is because I know that starting tomorrow I cannot have them. I want what I can’t have. Men want women they can’t have, women want men that they can't have and I want food that I can’t have. It’s a universal predicament, I think.

Wish me luck!

...and I say hello (to 2011)!

2011-02-23T22:47:00.002-05:00

The new year is always a reflective time for me....as it is for most people who base their year on the Gregorian calendar. It's a time where we review the past, let go of what we did or should have done, and try to look forward to a new year of opportunities. It's exciting and uncertain, a blank page full of possibilities. For me, energies are usually high in the first part of the year. I am full of good intentions and I have my thorough and lengthy list of goals posted in more than one spot. But, like many, I often lose some of that initial excitement that accompanies a New Year as I get bogged down in the daily routine of life...or if I find that my new or revolving list of goals is a little too lengthy.

It's now near the end of February and I can't say that I have been stellar at following my resolutions but I can't say that I have been horrible at them either. I think that over this last year I have come to realize that change is a process. It's not just letting go of something one day and completely adopting a new habit the next. Much of life's progress happens a little at a time--baby steps, if you will. More than likely, you will take your first step and then fall, but the trick is to get back up and take another step without beating yourself up for falling down in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I am still pretty good about criticizing myself, but I have also become better at recognizing progress in its smallest of forms.

My list of goals is still lengthy and perhaps a bit ambitious, but I am working towards them still the same. Without divulging my biggest weaknesses, here are three that I think are appropriate to share with the universe. It's also a great way to ensure that I will be held accountable for the completion of them. So make sure to check up on me!

1. Get healthy--this is all encompassing. I want to eat better, exercise regularly, learn about health and nutrition, and of course, the classic and never changing goal of...lose weight.

2. Travel--since moving to New York, I haven't really traveled much. Sure, I have taken some really great road trips (and yes, that does count as traveling) and I have traveled a bit for work (that was fun too) but I haven't taken a vacation that didn't include the SLC International airport for quite some time. Despite not having the money, I have always been torn about how to use my vacation days. I love my family. I miss them. Naturally, I want to use my time off to spend it with them. But I won't lie, my heart has missed some of that adventure that comes with friends in other places outside of your hometown. So this year, I am going to take at LEAST one trip. There are talks of a cruise and perhaps one other destination. Very excited! And of course, I will still make it home a couple of times as well.

3. Learn Me Something Good--I think that within each of us we have some sort of a desire to learn, to improve our minds in some way--whether it be through books, school, or by simply learning through the world around us. I have a few topics of study and plans in mind. I just need to muster the discipline to set a schedule and put those plans into action. I'm looking forward to giving my brain a little exercise outside of the doldrums of work and articles posted in my Facebook newsfeed.

You say goodbye....(to 2010)

2011-02-20T22:45:00.008-05:00

Dear Blog,

I have neglected you. For that I am truly sorry. I have been busy, too tired, too traveled, and haven't felt the creative juices flowing like they have in the past. Though I've failed to capture some great experiences as they have happened, it's never too late to go back in time to highlight some of the best. So here they are...in no particular order.

1. Caldwell Family Reunion--It had been years since my family last had a family reunion that wasn't related to a death or the less-frequent marriage. Talks about a family reunion had circulated for a while but nothing had come to fruition. Since I was on a pretty heavy streak of event planning at work, I figured that it wouldn't take that much more effort to start the ball rolling for the family. Emails were exchanged, dates were set, activities were planned, assignments were made and it all worked out. We had a great turn out and had a lot of fun. Some of our family was very much missed but it was good to be together. I love my family. I am grateful that I was able to spend some quality time with them this summer (reunion) and also at Christmas.

2. Summer Lovin'--It was a summer of scandal and intrigue....well, not really. I wish. But I did receive innumerable inquiries from curious friends about this new man friend that graced nearly every Facebook album posted this summer. Unfortunately, my summer was not as scandalous or love-filled as I would have liked it to have been. (Can't say I didn't try though!) Christian Ward, one of my closest friends, interned this summer at Amex. We went to high school together but our friendship didn't really flourish until we moved to the city in August of 2003, literally 3 days apart. We noticed each other at church on our first Sunday and became instant friends. Despite the distance and the time apart, we have managed to stay pretty close and make every effort to see each other when I am in Utah or he is in NYC. And if I can speak for both of us, we both love spending time together. We lived it up this summer. We went to the ballet, went out to fine restaurants, traveled to CT, hung out in Central Park, played Frisbee, shopped at Whole Foods, did Broadway, met random strangers, took walks, saw Maroon 5, made dinner together, went to the beach, laughed our heads off, you name it. We had an fantastic time together and I must confess that as I sent him to the airport in a black gypsy cab, I did have a few tears well in my eyes. Christian is one of my most favorite people in the world, one of my best friends, and he was part of one of my best summers to date. It's a zen thing, like how many babies can fit in a tire--you know, that old joke.

3. New York, NY--I have always prided myself in the fact that I have made the most out of living in one of the greatest cities in the world. I have played both tourist and tour guide and I have, for the most part, enjoyed every moment of it. But as life goes on, the novelty of living in a big city may wear off and those fun, touristy things of yester-year take a back seat to real life. This last year, however, I revisited my habits of a newbie and took advantage of some of the city's most excellent offerings--including, but not limited to: Palmyra road trip, Saturdays in Central Park, Movie on the Intrepid, US Open, Jersey Boys, Procession of the Ghouls, Thanksgiving Day Parade, Christmas windows/tree/Santa Land.

4. End of Apartment Nightmares--Hallelujah! Oh blessed day! I finally moved out of my hell-hole of an apartment. After four years of inconsiderate neighbors, elevator floors covered in urine, blood stained walls, hallways that reeked of garbage and smoke, and a neighborhood that came straight out of an episode of CSI, I am finally free! I'm in my new place. It is lovely. I am so happy.

5. Raw--If any of you know me, you will know that for the last two years and change I have been exploring new ways of eating. I have developed a keen interest in nutrition and have made concerted efforts to change my eating patterns to include more fresh vegetables, to eliminate processed foods, to avoid refined sugar (I do slip occasionally! Don't judge!) and to be the one who makes my own food. I've always had a passion for good food and have always been intrigued with the culinary arts. There is nothing more satisfying than creating a perfectly balanced and creative meal from start to finish. This year, however, I started to explore another facet of the healthy eating movement: Raw. I had come upon such amazing information about raw eating that I wanted to explore it further. Now I am far from living a raw lifestyle. I still enjoy cooking and I will, occasionally eat meat. But I have also dabbled quite a bit in raw cuisine. Add to that an amazing and inspirational friend (The Raw Model--Anthony Anderson) that I made over the summer and you've got some good motivation to continue to dabble.

6. Work--For the most part, I really like my job. Sure I have my bad days and deal with politics at varying levels that make life a little more difficult, but who doesn't have to deal with that? I think what really gets me through is the people. I have some really great co-workers and colleagues....people that I have come to trust and enjoy. I also get to work with fantastic volunteers. People who are busy and important but who still find the time to give back. My heart is constantly warmed by the generosity and kindness of my volunteers. And to top it all off, I really do get to participate in some fun events....things that I normally wouldn't participate in. For example, I got to meet Elmo. Not the fake Elmo or the giant sized walk around Elmo that you can find anywhere...the real, live muppet Elmo. I swear I was more excited than the kids. I could hardly contain myself but I managed to stay somewhat professional and allowed the young preschoolers an opportunity to hug him first. Other highlights: Manthropy (a bachelor auction), Toy Drive Party at Gallery Bar, free tickets to various sporting events and concerts, and innumerable volunteer projects throughout the year. I'm grateful for my job and the wonderful people I have met because of it.

7. Concerts--Despite my love for music, I haven't been much of a concert-goer. It's not that I haven't ever wanted to be, it's just that my cash flow hasn't ever really allowed me to be. I've been to a few--mostly boy bands, but nothing consistent or out of the pop genre. (I am not counting symphonic or orchestral events here.) This year, however, I was able to fulfill a life long dream of mine. One day, my good friend Jane and I were walking in Times Square, looked up, saw that Harry Connick, Jr. was coming to the city for a short stint, and we decided to go. I cannot tell you how excited I was to be seeing Harry. I have loved him for more than half of my lifetime. He instilled in the beginnings of my deep love for jazz. Anyway, the concert was amazing. Harry was amazing. Not only is he a talented performer, but he is a talented musician. He put on the best show ever. And bonus! Jane and I were happily seated in our seats about 15 minutes before the show was scheduled to start. We were probably 5 rows from the top. Then the house manager approached us and asked us if we wanted to move further down. "Sure!" I thought we would get bumped down a little further, but not much. Imagine my surprise, however, when we were moved to Row J--ten rows from the stage. We were dead center. I was in heaven. My face literally ached from smiling so much that night. And double bonus: sweet Jane waited with me to see Harry exit the theatre after the show. I got some pretty great pictures of him. Harry, I love you, baby! Oh, and I also saw Maroon 5 (with Christian) at Beacon Theater, Dierks Bentley at a small venue in Brooklyn (with Dustin, Rustin, & Aubrey) and Usher at MSG (with Tami & the girls at work).

8. Cooking--Did I mention that I love cooking? I think for a while there I was making at least 2 new recipes a week. It was quite the adventure. I also developed a slight crush on two chefs over the past year: Gordon Ramsay and Jamie Oliver. Don't worry, still love Bobby, too!

9. Glee & White Collar--Obsessed! Love Glee. Love White Collar. I can't stop visiting iTunes after each episode of Glee and I can't help but feel that Matthew Bomer's piercing blue eyes are staring deep into my soul each time his image flashes on the screen. Love, love, love!

10. Friends & Family--I have amazing friends and family! I feel so blessed to have the friends that I do. They've helped me to learn about the world and myself. They've been supportive and loving. They've offered great advice or have lent a listening ear. Again, I'm truly grateful for these wonderful people!

what the sodium?

2010-11-23T22:59:00.000-05:00

The other day I forgot to make my lunch and therefore had to eat out. I decided to be healthy and chose to get a salad. It was decent and filled me up but literally an hour later I started to get a really bad headache. I couldn't figure out why because the salad was a nice combination of veggies and protein. Anyway, I decided to look up the nutritional information and realized that the salad had over 1000mg of sodium. Clearly it was the meat and the salad dressing that contributed to such an obscene amount of sodium but I found it to be so interesting that my body was reacting the way that it did. Our bodies want healthy, unprocessed foods. We just need to feed it to them.

Because I still believe salads to be a great source of raw veggies, I wanted to share my most favorite salad dressing recipe of the moment. Once you start making your own salad dressings, you will never go back. Promise. I snagged it from one of my heroes (Jamie Oliver) and it has become a staple in my home. Obviously, you can tweak it to suit your tastes or the type of salad that you are going to be serving, but it's a winner. The trick is to LIGHTLY dress your salad . I often add a little honey or raw agave nectar to sweeten it up. Enjoy!

Creamy French Dressing

Great with green salads and bitter leaves like endive or radicchio.

5 T white wine vinegar

4 T walnut oil

½ cup crème fraiche (I prefer just a spoonful or two)

1 tsp. Dijon mustard

sea salt & freshly ground black pepper

a handful of chopped parsley leaves

8 T Extra Virgin Olive Oil

whip my hair

2010-11-07T21:08:00.001-05:00

While this song is totally catchy and Willow Smith has got some serious talent, this video completely disturbs me. Whatever happened to children being children?

Instead of the sweet innocence of youth, here we have a young girl and her entourage gyrating back and forth, literally crawling across the floor, and seductively moving across the screen--bedazzled and bejeweled from head to foot.

Not only does the video's content disturb me, but also the method behind the madness. I'm not saying that young children shouldn't perform or that they shouldn't develop talent. I'm not even saying that in some cases, with good, parental supervision and support, that they shouldn't be in the public eye. What I am questioning is the reason behind her parents sanctioning such an early entrance to the world of this type of stardom. She's 9 years old and she is being made up to look like she is 19. When I was 9 I was still playing Barbies and having neighborhood water fights. I don't get it and I don't like it. Let her be a little girl--a talented little girl--but a little girl still the same.

100% natural

2010-10-11T20:43:00.001-04:00

The other day I was in the supermarket and I was starving. (Bad. Idea.) Nature Valley granola bars were on sale for $2. I couldn't resist the sale so I picked up a box. Not until several days later when I actually went to eat one, did I read the label. It read "100% Natural". Big claim. I was curious to know what natural ingredients I was about to consume so I flipped the package over (first indication that it was not 100% natural). Here's what I found:

Whole Grain Oats
High Maltose Corn Syrup--WHAT???? 2nd ingredient???
Semisweet Chocolate Chunks (sugar, chocolate liquor, cocoa butter, soy lecithin, natural flavor)
Honey
Rice Flour
Roasted Peanuts
Raisins
Sugar
Fructose
Canola Oil
Maltodextrin
Soy Lecithin
Salt
Malt Extract
Baking Soda
Natural Flavor
Mixed Tocopherols (added to retain freshness)

Yeah, that's pretty natural, don't you think?

Not only was this granola bar sickly sweet, but also, its packaging contained a bold faced lie. When I got a 100% on a test at school, that would mean that I got everything right. Not mostly right, but everything right. So when I read the claim of 100% natural, I assume that the entire contents of the package are indeed, natural. But like I said, in this case, it was not true. Sometimes a single attribute of a food product overshadows everything else and consumers who don't delve deeper by doing something as simple as reading the ingredients, unwittingly delude themselves into thinking that they are doing something good for their body.

What makes me upset is that these companies actually get away with making these false claims and that there are people out there who believe them. You may be aware of the recently applauded and progressive move by Ben & Jerry's--sparked by an invitation from the Center for the Science of Public Interest (CSPI) to remove their "all natural" claim. Ben & Jerry's complied. Go awesome! (For more information, read here.) But this is just a first step. Clearly, there are other, less progressive manufacturers out there that continue to make these false claims. My challenge to you is this:

1) READ THOSE LABELS,

2) REFUSE to support those products that make false claims, and

3) SPEAK OUT & CHALLENGE these companies to make changes.

Remember, baby steps...

fed up with lunch: the school lunch project

2010-10-06T00:35:00.001-04:00

--soapbox begin--

Brace yourself! Yes, this is another food related post, but I stumbled across something tonight that I just have to share. I was on Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution page and found a shocking blog about school lunches. It's called "Fed Up With Lunch: the school lunch project". If you have children, want children, love children, or even think that they should exist, you should check this blog out.

Authored by an anonymous teacher named Mrs. Q., this blog and this teacher aim to reform school lunch. For the last year or so, she has been eating and documenting what is being served in the school lunch cafeteria. Menus range from shocking to eh, not so bad. But I admire this woman for taking a stand and for advocating for reform. Why must we reform school lunches? Take a look at these tasty meals:

As you go through the blog you will notice that some of the lunches aim to incorporate fruits and vegetables. They don't look SO bad. Bravo. But take a closer look. Notice how it is packaged. How wasteful. Each food item is served in a paper container sealed with plastic. And take a look at the food. Is it even real? What are these lunches actually made of? To me it looks processed, full of refined sugar, and cooked to the point where all nutritional value found within a normally healthy food has gone out the window.

I realize that there are budgetary constraints within our public school system. I realize that school cooks want to do their job well and provide their students with balanced meals but are limited by time, manpower, appropriate kitchen tools, and the lack of fresh ingredients. I realize that not every family can afford to bring their own lunch to school. My family was no exception. I remember being envious of friends who would brown bag it. They would bring the coveted Oreos, the bright bags of chips, and the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on soft, white bread. (Looking back, those meal options might have actually been worse than what I was getting.) The point is, however, I understand the limitations that schools and students face when it comes to a nutritionally balanced meal.

That being said, what do we do? Your first reaction might be to do all that you can to ensure that you are packing your child's lunch. And that's a good step. As a concerned parent or guardian you have the right, and if I may be so bold, the responsibility to ensure that your child has nutrionally sound food available to him or her. What happens, you ask, when they go to school and the infamous lunch trading begins? This is where meals at home come into play. By creating a culture of healthful food in the home, kids will hopefully have a natural inclination to seek out that which is healthy and familiar. It's not going to happen all of the time. Kids are kids. But if they are accustomed to and enjoy "go foods" (foods that help them "go" and provide energy) as opposed to "slow foods" (foods that are heavy laden with sugars and that are engineered), the chances of them choosing better, increases.

So what now? You've resolved to continue or to improve upon healthy meals at home as well as your children's lunches that they take to school. Great! What else is there to do? PLENTY! I feel very strongly that while it is important to take care of our own, it is also equally important for us to figure out how we can help others...especially those that don't have the same types of resources. Reading this blog almost made me cry. Not because the writing was especially touching or profound, but rather because I thought of the hundreds and thousands of kids that need to eat school lunches and are basically being served frozen, packaged meals, day in and day out. Sure, they provide some burnable calories. Sure it meets the USDA's poor standard of a "balanced meal", but shouldn't food be so much more than meeting a govenmental standard and filling a calorie quota? Shouldn't it actually be providing nutrition, vitamins and minerals found in whole forms of food, sustainable energy? Doesn't every child have that right? YES! But in order for that to happen, people need to take a stand and speak up. Change doesn't happen unless we demand it and actually take the steps toward change.

You don't have to be a professional lobbyist. You don't have to have ties to the government (although that might help). All you have to do is spread the word and let your voice be heard. Write letters to the editor, comment on blogs that get a lot of traffic, share impactful Youtube videos on your Facebook page, twitter about a fantastic new site that you discovered, give your legislator a call, write your senator, reach out to the USDA, and most importantly, advocate in your local school district. Meet with the principal, the superintendent. Contact the Department of Education and let them know that you want change. Again, nothing will happen without us taking action. So get fed up and make a change!

--end soapbox--

"you are what you eat, food does matter"

2010-10-03T23:36:00.000-04:00

For those of you that know me, you'll know that my quest for a workable and healthy diet has had it's ups and downs and also that I've been a little obsessed with it. (Apologies if you tire of me talking of how important it is to eat whole & unprocessed foods.) I have experimented, for varying amounts of times, with diets that were strictly organic, only local, strictly vegetarian, mostly vegetarian, low carb, unprocessed & whole foods, and even some raw & living foods. While I can't say that I am the best at sticking to any one type of diet, what I can say is that I have gleaned something valuable from each way of life. I can also say, without the least bit of hesitation, that when you are on your own quest to improve your health and diet, you need to figure out what works best for you. In my opinion that comes through education, experimentation, evaluation, modification, and finding motivation. (Doesn't all change require that type of a pattern?) It also takes time, which many of us don't claim to have. But if our health is at stake, isn't it worth it to spend a little more time on something that can bring us so many benefits now AND in the future?

Anyway, one thing that I find myself coming back to when I need a little burst of motivation is a documentary called Food Matters. My first exposure to this film was when I won this DVD at a lecture about permaculture that my friend Anthony Anderson (aka the Raw Model) spoke at. I'll have to post the story of how we met some time. It's a little embarrassing but it makes me laugh and I can't tell you how grateful I am that we did meet. He has been such a source of inspiration to me...so much so, that I am looking at the raw diet again. I don't see myself (at this point) doing a completely raw diet. But rather, I want to see how much I can fully adopt. Maybe it will end up being a "raw before dinner" type of a deal. I don't know. But I really do believe in the power of whole, natural foods and think that we are doing ourselves and our families a disservice if we turn a deaf ear to this whole school of thought.

For your viewing pleasure and in an effort to persuade you to rent the movie, I've included the trailer. The video was compelling and presented arguments that can't intelligently be disputed. So here's to your health! Enjoy!

makuakane, aloha au ia 'oe

2010-09-27T00:03:00.000-04:00

Thank goodness for music and for the modern day technologies that allow us to record it. For the last hour I have been listening to the same two songs over and over again: My Yellow Ginger Lei and Ke Kali Nei Au (the Hawaiian Wedding song). Yes, sometimes I just want to hear the songs of the islands, but more often than not, I just want to hear my dad. That is the case tonight. I just wanted to hear my dad’s beautiful voice sing the music that he loved. Though the voices of the Aloha Islanders blend beautifully, I can still hear him over the others…a discovery that I revel in every single time.

Now, I’m not writing for sympathy or because I have a desire for others to drown in my sorrow with me. I just needed another way to get it all out. I needed something more than an hour’s worth of music to help me get through the evening.

It’s been ten years, two months and six days since I last saw him; ten years, two months and five days since I last heard his voice over the phone. It’s hard to believe that much time has actually passed and yet I remember the day he died just like it was yesterday. The memory of it continues to stop me in my tracks as I remember the details of it all. I miss him. I will always miss him. But there are days that I miss him more than others. I suppose today is just one of those days. I suppose that all of us, every now and again, just need a good cry.

Makuakane, aloha au ia 'oe...

pre fixe dinner special: harry potter

2010-09-25T18:52:00.000-04:00

The other day I was on the train. A group of high school boys were standing next to me when I overheard the following:

Boy 1: He was awesome. He took us all out to a pre fixe dinner. It must have cost $50 a person.

Boy 2: Pre fixe like in Harry Potter?

Boy 1: No, you idiot. That's prefect. Pre fixe is when the price is already set and you get different courses.

It's nice to know that Harry Potter spans all ages and types.

And while we're talking about Harry Potter, check out this amazing, new trailer. I think I held my breath for the entire two minutes:

food, glorious food

2010-09-14T23:20:00.004-04:00

Food has become my new passion. It's been a long time in the making, but over the last year or so, I just can't get enough. If I could, I would quit life as I know it and run away to culinary school. I daydream of making it big, buying a home with an amazing kitchen, and spending all my days creating culinary masterpieces. I envy those who can make their dreams of food creation a reality. Unfortunately, I'm not in a position where I can do that. My days are consumed with the normal routines of life. However, it doesn't mean that I'm not going to try to fit in as much as I can.

A few weeks ago, I made a new goal to try at least two new recipes a week. So far so good. It's been fun to get creative in my kitchen--my very, very small kitchen. Despite the limitations of a minuscule workspace, here are a few of my most recent successes...

Arugula, Fennel & Apricot Salad
Ground Beef Wellington
Bolognese Sauce
Roasted Veggies with Rosemary
Chicken Coconut Curry
Pasta with sun-dried tomatoes and cream
Poached Eggs
Curried Zucchini Relish
Banana Cream Pie
Tiramisu

...and here's to many more!

Update: I have included a few of the links to the recipes that I used. Keep in mind that I hardly ever follow the recipe. I always make modifications along the way. For example, with the Tiramisu, I used Pero instead of coffee and omitted the wine. For the banana cream pie, I mashed up bananas and put it into the pudding mix. Should I make this again, I would strain the pudding mixture to preserve the integrity of the texture. etc. etc.

ummm, sad...no, wait....funny?....no....i don't know....

2010-09-03T00:34:00.002-04:00

peter!!!

2010-09-01T23:59:00.000-04:00

So I was at the gym and looked up and two machines in front of me I saw someone that looked really familiar. Then he smiled at me and I realized that I had seen that smile before. And then I realized that it was Peter (Tim DeKay) from White Collar!!!!

Of course I couldn't restrain my smile at this point so it turned into what I can only imagine, a goofy grin. He then started to really smile and gave me a slight nod. I think he realized that I had recognized him. I hope it made him feel good that I turned a giddy school girl. We didn't talk to each other but floated around the same weights area for about twenty minutes and my heart felt warm and fuzzy. :)

P.S. He was lookin' good.

are you happy?

2010-08-24T23:32:00.000-04:00

Dear Blog,

I have neglected you so. For that, I apologize. I've been busy. Soon you will have the information you need to be complete.

In the meantime, here is something to tide you over. It's somewhat characteristic of what I have been thinking about lately.

Yours,
Malia

these are a few of my favorite things...

2010-07-08T23:00:00.003-04:00

1. CW—One of my closest friends, Christian Ward, has been in the city for a summer internship with Amex. We've been friends since high school (He claims we were high school sweethearts. I don't seem to remember it that way.) and became really close when we both moved to NYC the same week. Through the years we've stayed in touch (he has since moved back to Utah). Right now I am basically having the best time of my life. I haven’t had so much fun or laughed so hard in a really long time. I am so glad that he is here. I am going to bawl my eyes out when he leaves. But CW is definitely one of my favorite things right now.

2. AC—my next favorite is a blessed, little thing called Air Conditioning. I don’t know how anyone in this city can survive without it. There is nothing better then stepping out of a stifling heat into a blast of cool air.

3. Eclipse—I feel like a bad fan, but despite the fact that I have only seen Eclipse once (opening night of course), I still feel perfectly justified in adding this to my favorite things list. I loved the movie. I clapped and giggled and swooned with the rest of them. Best of the three so far. And RP? Stunning!

4. Lady Antebellum—two of my music friends (and by music friends I mean people who recommend music to me) both gave me the thumbs up for Lady Antebellum. It’s a country group that has successfully crossed over into the pop pool. Personally, I don’t care what pool they reside in. All I know is that I love it.

5. The Color Blue—No, it’s not a sequel to The Color Purple but rather just the color. For some reason, I am obsessed with the color blue. I find myself mostly buying blue things right now—especially clothing. Oh well.

6. Glee—like a lot of popular trends that come and go, I tried to resist this one. I really tried. But then I randomly saw Mr. Shuester and his darling curls (Matthew Morrison) perform and I was hooked. How could I not? Guys that can sing and play some sort of instrument are just dreamy. Can’t wait for the season to start up once again.

7. Cooking—still an obsession that I love to watch, research, and do. I think it always will be.

8. Pride & Prejudice—Confession: I have never read Pride & Prejudice. Yes, I am hanging my head in shame. BUT we're reading it for book club and I am loving it. I don’t know if it’s because I know the story so well or if my love for Mr. Darcy (the BBC version of Mr. Darcy) transcends all time and place, but this book is so clever. I love getting lost in its pages and the fact that I am still hanging on every word, wondering what will happen next.

Notice the print at the bottom. It says IBM--Ideal Breeding Material. :)

9. Watermelon—I am constantly craving fresh watermelon. Thank goodness it’s in season.

10. My Mac—I’m still in love with my laptop. The more I learn about its functionality, the more I’m in love with it.

love this man!

2010-05-23T16:46:00.000-04:00

Hearing Jamie Oliver talk about this stuff makes makes me so excited. It motivates me to make changes in my life and it also makes me want to grow this idea as far and as wide as possible. Take a look. You won't be sorry...and if you are....WHO ARE YOU????

that don't impress me much

2010-05-19T00:41:00.001-04:00

Tonight after I finished with the gym I entered my building, closely followed by another tenant. He was young, probably in his early twenties, and upon seeing me his face lit up as if he had just had the most brilliant idea pop into his head. I fumbled around for my keys but wasn't quick enough to prevent the show.

"Have you heard of the Incredible Hulk?" he said with a smile.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Have you heard of the Incredible Hulk?" he repeated.

"The Incredible Hulk? Yes."

He then proceeded to forcefully yank the door open without the use of the front entrance key. The door popped open with a loud click. Clearly it wasn't made to do that. He seemed proud of his latest feat and was surprised, I'm sure, by my response.

"You shouldn't do that. That breaks the door. That's why the super won't fix this place up. It's because people keep breaking things."

He was silent as I continued on. He looked at me with wide, vulnerable eyes as I proceeded to kindly "berate" him for damaging property and essentially contributing to the dilapidated state of the building. I think he was dumbfounded, to tell you the truth. His plan to wow me or come to my rescue completely backfired. When I could see that he was finally starting to make the connection between his actions and the effect that it has on the rest of us living here, I started to ease up on him. I ended the conversation civilly and then casually and got off the elevator.

Who knows if my calling him out will have a lasting effect on him. I hope it does. Or it may just mean that there is yet another person that I should avoid in this crappy building, but oh well. I'm glad that I said something. Hopefully the next time he wants to make an impression on a girl he won't try to use vandalism as a means to do so. Because...that don't impress me much.

bronte sisters, power up!

2010-05-10T21:11:00.003-04:00

A friend of mine posted this to her Facebook page. I thought I would share. It totally made me laugh...

give me revolution!

2010-04-30T23:18:00.006-04:00

Yes, I know that Jamie Oliver is not the first chef to use fresh, whole foods. He is not the first to educate and to give back to the community. He is not the first to use his celebrity status to move an idea forward. And he is not the first to make monumental, positive changes happen. But I’ll tell you what…Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution is inspiring and it is making a difference. And it is happening because one person decided that he cared enough to use his resources, his know-how, and his status to do something. And for that, I admire him tremendously.

Recently, I have been reading Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All-American Meal by Eric Schlosser. It is a frightening account of the “evolution” of the American diet and business of fast food. It details everything from marketing strategies targeting children, the horrors of feeding lots & slaughtering houses, the injustices found within the fast food system including poor wage, dangerous working conditions, lack of training & benefits, to the exploitation and eventual demise of hardworking and honest cattleman and farmers all for the benefit of the fast food giants that have become more popular than about any other thing that you could possibly think of.

What I love about Jamie Oliver or people like Eric Schlosser, Michael Pollan, or Wendell Berry is that they appreciate and understand the importance of our relationship with food, with the earth, and with our communities. They understand that health and well-being comes from a holistic and natural approach and that it is vital to understand where we are, where we have been, and where we are headed if we continue down the same path. But not only do they strive to understand, they strive to educate and involve others to promote positive and lasting change. They understand that revolutions such as these do not happen if one is silent, but rather, they happen when one person takes a stand and says, “No more.”

Change is difficult and slow-moving sometimes. But I find comfort in the fact that there are others out there who espouse to the same beliefs and actually motivate me to make those changes in my own life and to then look outward in order to be of help to someone else.

There will certainly be more posts on this subject as I have rediscovered my interest in this. But for now, check out Jamie Oliver’s show and let the beginnings of revolution stir within.

1 part bobby + 2 parts flay = crushing, happy, smiling girl

2010-04-18T17:39:00.007-04:00

DIRECTIONS:

1. Start with Friday, April 16, 2010.

2. Add in 6:45pm.

3. Combine with 23rd Street & 6th Avenue, New York, NY (heading East).

4. Combine with Bobby Flay + wife (optional)

5. Mix in a completely discombobulated, blushing, having-trouble-breathing, so close you could reach out and touch him, crushing fan (me).

THE RESULT:

crushing, happy, smiling girl!

(Make sure to watch the video above from :15 to :25. This is how I felt when Bobby crossed my path.)

P.S. While I do have a huge crush on Mr. Flay, I'm not as crazy as I might seem right now. Promise! (Don't worry, Bobby. I won't be stalking you or your lovely wife.)

flaaames on the side of my face...

2010-04-18T17:10:00.002-04:00

As a child I grew up on the both the game and movie Clue. We loved the game and spent hours fighting and figuring out "who dunnit" and yes, sometimes there were casualties other than Mr. Peabody as a result of those ever-changing mysteries. Still the same, we loved the game and as such, we loved the movie as well. Many, many classic lines can be pulled from its archives but one that finds its way into my brain more often than you can find Obama addressing the nation on public television, was uttered by the "prudent" Mrs. White played by Madeline Kahn:

"It...it...the...fee..it...Flame. Flames! Flaaaames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathle heaving breaths..."

Now very recently, I found myself living this expression a little more often than I'm accustomed to. These were moments when I could actually feel the rage swirling within me, churning in my gut and surging upwards towards my face and through my eyeballs.

What caused these imaginary but all too real flames to ignite the sides of my face? Well, it was the MTA, of course.

Four times--count 'em--FOUR times within the last few weeks, I have been kicked off the train and forced to seek other modes of transportation. At the height of morning rush hour or after a long day's work, a signal malfunction, a sick passenger, or a fire on the tracks have all interfered with my travel.

Four Reasons Why I Rage:

1. Other modes of transportation: Let me clarify, other modes of transportation means walking or finding a bus or making your way across town to take another functioning train. But mostly it means that you just have to walk. If you have the money and the luck, you could also hail a cab. The problem here, however, is that once you empty out an entire train load of passengers, every cab--yellow or otherwise--is immediately snatched up. So not only are you terribly late for work and left in a most inconvenient spot, but also you are fighting hundreds of other passengers for that same overpriced ride.

2. Sick passengers: I get the reason for caution when there is a malfunctioning train signal. But I do NOT understand why the MTA insists on taking a train out of service when there is ONE sick passenger. Wouldn't it make more sense to simply remove the passenger from the train, take them to safe and secure location, and assign a train personnel to stay with them until help arrives? For the life of me, I cannot understand why they have to empty the entire train so that the passenger can be attended to more quickly. You would think that it would be easier for an emergency response team to navigate an empty platform as opposed to one that is full of disgruntled passengers.

3. Out of service buses: When a train is pulled out of service they sometimes set up shuttle buses as an alternative. On one of these most recent episodes, the shuttle bus announcement was made. Obediently, passengers filed out of the subway station and headed in both directions to find the nearest bus stop to wait in the rain. The buses came, but not like you would expect. Empty Bus #1: Out of Service. Empty Bus #2: Out of Service. Empty Bus #3: Out of Service. Empty Bus #4: Out of Service. Empty Bus #5: Out of Service. Jam-Packed Bus #6: too full to let any new passengers on. Empty Bus #7: Out of Service. I kid you not, out of 12 buses that passed us, only three stopped for passengers. Two of them were too full to really allow anyone on.

4. Twice in one day: On one lucky day, this happened to me on the way to work and on my travels home. Yeah, I was not a happy commuter.

Yes there are positives to the MTA. Sure I no longer have to look for parking. Sure traveling here is much more inexpensive than owning my own car. Sure I can read or close my eyes or just zone out if I want in the middle of my travels. Sure its the greener way. But sometimes MTA hell makes me want pack my bags and flee to a car friendly part of the world.

free stuff!!!

2010-04-17T18:11:00.001-04:00

There are many obvious reasons as to why I love New York. The people, the culture, the energy, the fast paced way of life, the style, and the stars. But one of the things that I have really come to love and appreciate are the free things that are being handed out left and right. ALL. THE. TIME!

Given that New York City is one of the most influential hubs for trend setting in the world, it behooves companies of all walks of life to promote their product and their ideas in a big way in the big apple.

My favorites within the last month:

--Burger (Goburger.com)
--Turkey burger & fries (Goburger.com)
--Plastic, spill proof coffee mug (Starbucks)
--Stainless steel or aluminum water bottle (Claritin)

I LOVE FREE STUFF!!!

comment fail

2010-03-24T00:55:00.001-04:00

One of the things that interests me about blogging is the fact that you can share your random, everyday opinions with people you know and love as well as with those with whom you have no other connection save through this vast cyberspace we call the internets (yes, that was an intentional mistype). There’s something strangely exciting about posting your position for all the world to see and then having random strangers somehow find your blog. What’s even better is when these random strangers find something in your blog that elicits such a strong reaction that they feel compelled to make a comment—good or bad.

Now I don’t mind it when people disagree with what I have posted. I’m always open to other points of view. As long as there is a certain level of respect on both sides, I’m fine. Yes, even if we agree to disagree. What I find to be irritating, however, is when comments miss the boat entirely and then they hide behind the mask of anonymity.

This morning someone responded to my “why????” post—a brief and perhaps snarky commentary on people’s immodesty at the gym. Here is the comment:

“This sentiment is unjustified. You are wrong. Get over yourself. We have every right to shower at our gym.”

Really?

Now, if you will refer to the post in question, you’ll notice that I said NOTHING about gym-goers not showering. By all means, PLEASE shower. You’re doing the rest of us a favor, and quite frankly, you might as well take advantage of this membership perk. But, if the reader will kindly re-read the post--perhaps more carefully this time--he/she will notice that I was commenting on the amount of flesh and indiscreetness shown at the gym, not about the act of showering itself.

So despite the unsigned chiding, I stand by my original post and will not “get over myself”. Shower at the gym. Enjoy the convenience that it brings. But for heaven’s sake, cover it up. Allow me to reiterate: No one wants to see you or your girls at any age or any stage. You may think you have it, but you probably don’t. And even if you did, what makes you think that the rest of us want to see it? There is a way to shower at the gym without running around the locker room naked. I know, I know, it may be difficult to imagine, but believe me, it is possible. Check out the rest of the people around you…the ones with towels carefully tied around them. They’ll help you figure it out.

FINALLY!!!!!

2010-03-13T22:53:00.001-05:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

all happy lucky family food restaurant & gifts

2010-03-12T23:40:00.001-05:00

This morning as I was walking to the train station I passed a Chinese fast food place, one of those tacky souvenier shops, and then another Chinese fast food place--all within 3 blocks. The gift shop was named "Lucky Gift Hunting". I don't quite remember what the names of the fast food joints were but other similar spots came to mind--Best Chinese Food, Happy Family Chinese Restaurant, All Happy Restaurant--just to name a few. I started to think about how the owners actually came up with the names and then it hit me...

Search engines!

"I want to find a good luck gift."

SEARCH: luck, gift = Lucky Gift Hunting

"I want to go to the best Chinese place in the city."

SEARCH: best, Chinese = Best Chinese Food

"I'm in the mood for only moderately good Chinese."

SEARCH: not very good, Chinese = OK Chinese Food

"My family is going through some hard times, what will make everyone happy?"

SEARCH: happy, family = Happy Family Chinese Restaurant

"I want to meet new people, make some good friends."

SEARCH: good, friend = Good Friend Restaurant

It all makes sense now...it wasn't just a bunch of happy words thrown together. It was a carefully designed marketing scheme. Who knew?

i love black underwears!

2010-03-07T20:43:00.001-05:00

The other day I was walking around during lunch. I saw a man with a walking stick at the corner. He turned his head from side to side and said, "Can someone help me?" Of course I walked up to him and asked him if I could help him cross the street. He grabbed my arm and we started to cross.

"Thank you so much," he said.

"No problem."

"What do you do?" he asked.

"I'm a social worker."

"Oh. What color of coat are you wearing?"

Odd...."Purple."

"What color of panties?"

"Yeah, ok. Here you go...."

Thankfully, we had safely arrived at the other corner just as he had asked the question. Feeling like I did my duty and that he was safely delivered, I was able to return to my errand-running in good conscience; and he was able to, I'm sure, continue on his merry way...perhaps harassing other do-gooders in similar fashion.

why????

2010-02-21T16:26:00.004-05:00

Dear naked people at the gym,

Why must you parade around that way? No one wants to see it and you don't look that great anyway. Please be more discrete. Use a towel. Cover up. Turn around. I don't care. Just put it away. Please!!! What ever happened to modesty?

Best,
Malia

if you're psychologically normal...that's fine...call me

2010-02-11T23:08:00.005-05:00

I forgot how much I love this little gem. Not sure if it is real, but oh, how I hope it was! Enjoy!

dear chivalry, i like you. love, malia

2010-02-10T21:12:00.011-05:00

There's something wrong with the world when kindness and chivalrous behavior take me by surprise. Tonight I went out with a friend whose company I really enjoy. As always, we had a great time, stimulating conversation, and some fabulous food. Throughout the evening he continuously doled out little surprises like helping me with my coat, complimenting me on seemingly unnoticeable things, helping me to step over a slushy puddle mess by taking my hand. I loved it. My heart warmed with each instance. It was not uncommon for him to do this.

So the question is, why is it that some men deem it their privileged role to be gentlemanly, while others in their same age bracket reserve those simple gestures for only those in whom they are interested. Kindness is never wasted, nor does it cause true affection to depreciate and yet there are still those who refrain from these actions for fear that they are sending the wrong message. I would think that kindness spread universally would actually work to their favor rather than the opposite. What woman, attached to a particular man or not, does not appreciate being a recipient or observer of that type of behavior? I would venture to say that unless he was a greasy stalker, non-discriminatory, basic chivalry always garners a man extra points.

Now there are many men who are kind, many who naturally treat women this way. They do exist. I guess I just find it strange that far too often, I am surprised by these occurrences. Perhaps it says something about me? Maybe I don't notice? Maybe I don't give men the opportunity to show these kindnesses? Perhaps there isn't something wrong with the world, but rather, something wrong with me? It's something to think about, I suppose.

these are a few of my favorite things...part 2

2010-02-10T00:28:00.010-05:00

kiva.org
my fleece blankets from bed, bath, & beyond (so soft)
cheap, blue papermate pens (love the way they write)
tortilla chips (dinner for the last 3 days)
my blue pashmina scarf (originally from Chinatown, reborn in the Flatiron District)
White Collar, Modern Family, and 30 Rock (must see TV shows)
foodnetwork.com and allrecipes.com (love to explore these babies)
Mortal Instrument Series & Hunger Games (books)
my MacBook Pro (true love)
hulu.com (hours of entertainment)
sleeping in (rare treat)
chocolate covered cinnamon bears (go BYU bookstore!)
The Happiest Millionaire (childhood favorite musical)

why bother?

2010-02-08T18:35:00.007-05:00

This morning as I was hurrying to catch the train, I was forced to slow down as a woman and her dog darted in front of me. She had just stooped down to pick up his poo that he had deposited onto the sidewalk and was walking over to the garbage can...or so I thought. Nope. After she had picked it up, she threw it on the side of the road, napkin and all.

"Are you kidding me?" I uttered under my breath, wondering if I should have said it louder so that she would have heard me. But visions of her chasing me, poo in hand and yelling in a language I didn't understand changed my mind...just for today.

As a gift, here is a better dog poo story that makes me laugh every time I watch it.

all i have to do is dream...

2010-01-31T14:18:00.012-05:00

Ah, REM, that blessed part of sleep where the imagination runs wild, the stage associated with processing emotions, retaining memories, and relieving (or reliving) stress. Depending upon your personal cycle, one will usually experience three to five episodes of Dream Sleep (REM) each night. Strange that we don’t remember them all.

I’m a dreamer and by that I don’t mean that I am a “dream the impossible dream” type of girl…although I do tend to fantasize about the impossible more often than I care to admit. What I mean by dreamer is that I usually remember at least one or two of my dreams every night. It baffles me that others aren’t the same way. Talk about missing out! Although I have had my share of terrifyingly upsetting dreams, I also have my share of fun, exciting, and hopeful ones as well.

Last night’s fit into that latter category.

Sparing you the details of a somewhat confusing dream, what I remember most is that I “had” a baby. Don’t remember giving birth or the other fun steps leading up to that blessed event but I had one still the same. The other wrap-me-in-blankets-of-love moment was when I happened to remember who the father was and how excited and pleased we were with our masterpiece of a creation. (For the record, I cannot even begin to imagine the connection two people must feel after that experience. I’m sure it is amazing!)

Needless to say, I woke up with somewhat of a crush on the father of my baby and find myself wishing I was still asleep. But more than that it reminded me of two things:

1. I really do want children. Lately I’ve been realizing how much work it takes to be a parent…a good parent, at that. It must be physically and emotionally exhausting. Making sure that they are cared for, fed, clothed, taught the things that they need to know to thrive, to excel, to become spiritually sound. It must be heart-wrenching to watch your child struggle in life, to see them friendless, teased, to watch how life can sometimes be so disappointing and unfair. It’s a lot of pressure and I’ve seen what happens when parents fail to fully perform. But despite it all, there is something within in me that absolutely wants children and is up to the challenge. I’m sure the blessings of parenthood far outweigh every sleepless night, every neglected task, every changed schedule, every sacrifice. That being said…

2. I want a good husband. Now this seems obvious to most. Everyone wants a good companion, an equal and loving partner. But I want someone who is GOOD...really GOOD. I’ve always been a sucker for nice guys. I am drawn to men who have good hearts and who strive to do what is right no matter what. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, life has dealt me a hand where these guys don’t typically reciprocate my feelings…especially as of late. As a result, questions like “does it really matter” have taken up residence in my brain and I have faltered a bit in my resolve. However, last night’s “husband” is a very good man. One of the best I am acquainted with—of that I am sure. Sadly, we don’t really spend much time together, nor have we ever, really. I’m not even sure if we are compatible. But what I know is that he has the qualities of a good man, the qualities of a good husband. I’m sure that this crush will fade soon, but for now, he is the face of my personal course corrector—something that I really needed…when I needed it the most.

Oh those poor souls who can’t remember their dream sleep. Aside from the physical benefits of completing a full sleep cycle, it’s clear that dreams can serve more than one purpose…for me anyway…

And to my dream husband...thanks, babe. :) (I'm really not as crazy as I may appear right now.)

i heart iron chef

2010-01-18T19:27:00.006-05:00

THIS, Ladies and Gentleman, was A favorite activity from my Christmas 2009 trip home...not THE favorite....but A favorite. (It was pretty high up there though.)

What do you get when you combine the Food Network, Bobby Flay, and intense competition?

Heaven? Not quite, but close.

It's Iron Chef, silly!

Iron Chef Bobby Flay and some White House lady (no disrespect) vs. Iron Chef Batali and Emeril. Two hours of mad cooking skills, creative masterpieces, and lots of Bobby goodness. It was a grand sight to behold. Bobby Flay and his compadre won, of course. My little heart couldn't have been happier.

2010: year of the "don't put the bold on hold"

2010-01-18T11:06:00.005-05:00

I must give credit, where credit is due--this year's new mantra

"Don't put the bold on hold"

is a phrase lovingly borrowed from my good friend, Sarah. A few years ago, this was her year's mantra. For 2010, it is mine.

Quite recently, a few of my really good friends have made big decisions. Considering that I am feeling that change is in the air, I have been watching them and admiring their go-get-'em attitudes. It's something that I've always wanted to adopt but for one reason or another, passivity has held me back. What if something went wrong? What if I made a wrong decision? What if I was rejected? I realized however, that I have been worry unnecessarily. So what if I fail? At least I tried. Worrying about something before it has even happened or WILL ever happen takes up entirely too much energy and time. I'm not condoning leaping without looking. Weighing options is still a valuable part of decision making. But be brave! I realized that no one is holding me back expect for me. So, if I want to save all my money and travel to Italy, then I'm going to. (That might take a year or two, but still. Do it!) If I want to take a class, I will rearrange my schedule so that I can. If I want to tell someone exactly how I feel, I will. The possibilities are endless and the idea of taking control is well, liberating.

So here's to 2010 and the year of "Don't put the bold on hold!"

Here are a few things that I am excited for this year...

1. Learning more about nutrition and cooking
2. Reading more books
3. Going to the gym
4. Dejunking my apartment and life
5. Reconnecting with friends
6. Improving my relationship with God
7. Learning more about my Poly culture & heritage
8. Being more honest with myself and others
9. Serving more
10. Being brave

...to be continued as I see fit...

R-E-S-P-svee-T. find out what it means to me. ...

2010-01-12T22:06:00.006-05:00

I have a new found respect for working mothers...and fathers.

Last night I babysat one of the most darling 1 going on 2-year-olds on the planet. He's a happy baby, chunky, and just so sweet. There is nothing better than him snuggling up on your shoulder when he is getting sleepy. I had offered to watch him long ago but the opportunity never worked itself out until just recently. We set up the appointment last week. A 2.5 hour gig immediately after work. No problem...or so I thought.

Now nothing terribly difficult or trying happened. Nothing even close to that. Again, he was a pleasant baby. We played, we laughed, we had a good time. We read books, played in his cardboard house, played with the locks on the door, and ate Goldfish (He ate Goldfish. I can't stand the things.) But by the time my 2.5 hours were up, I was exhausted. Granted, I hadn't been sleeping well for the past few weeks, I had just completed a full day's work, and I hadn't eaten for several hours, but still! I was so tired when I got home! Mothers (and fathers) around the world do this very thing day in and day out. They don't do this once a week or once a month. This is their life. This is their work, the most important work that they could ever do.

I left wondering and hoping that should the day come for me to be a mother, I would have the energy to keep up with a child. That I would have the patience and know-how to teach meaningful life lessons. I came away appreciating what my parents sacrificed for me and my brother and sister. I came away appreciating that my dad would constantly be looking for ways to better provide for the family and to still make time to teach us of his heritage, to develop talents, and to give us opportunities to do fun things. I came away appreciating my mother and her tireless efforts to help us excel in school, to counsel with us when we were faced with difficulties, to keep us fed, in clean clothing, in an organized home. Parents are simply amazing.

Now I don't know what the future holds, but I do know this. Watching parents through adult eyes is a completely different experience from when you are young. I'm grateful for that but wish I would have had a better understanding while growing up. I also realize now that being single, in no way, prepares you for the type of exhaustion, love, and sacrifice that inevitably comes from parenthood. And yet I still look forward to the day for that to happen...all the while hoping to discover the secret formula to unlocking unlimited energy (not in a powder or liquid form).

hell, spells, and seinfeld

2010-01-10T16:26:00.009-05:00

I feel like my life has the makings of a Seinfeld episode in it...or at least the potential for one. A few differences, however, one being that I am alone in my battle and don't have the well meaning support of kooky friends. For the last few hours I have been tortured by my annoying downstairs neighbors and their @#!$^% music. Now I've never been to Hell but I'm pretty sure that they play that exact music down there. It's sad, really, I used to like Latin music but I can hardly stand it right now. I would be perfectly happy if I never heard Reggatone or this Mexican polka crap that shakes my floors and rattles my furniture and windows ever again.

I've always been one to fantasize about the impossible, but oh how this brings that out in me. I wish that I was Hermione from Harry Potter. I would be casting spells left and right. Perhaps their speakers would disappear, or maybe all they could ever hear again would be Disney songs. No matter what they played or where they went, it would be Disney 24/7..and not even the good songs. It would be the ones that you always skip. And maybe it would only be 4 of them...on a continuous loop! (I can still be somewhat generous.) Oh, the possibilities!

Anyway, borrowing this idea from my upstairs neighbor, the first time this happened I started to bang on my floor with the end of my broomstick. (Maybe I am a witch.) When that would happen to me, I would immediately turn the TV or music down and then apologize with a phone call or something. However, I soon learned with the neighbors downstairs that the broomstick wasn't loud enough. They couldn't even hear it over their horrid music. So in an effort to be somewhat cordial I braved the unknown and decided to head downstairs to have a conversation. I was somewhat hesitant at first because I don't normally go around exploring my building by myself--especially when I know that there are men--probably drunk men--that I need to confront. But I was desperate so I went. I knocked on the door. Nothing. I rang the doorbell. Nothing. I did this for about 4 minutes and then got scared. Visions of them answering the door with a gun flashed in my head so I ran back to my apartment.

Fast forward to today. Knowing that the broom didn't work I went straight for the big guns. I picked up my five pound weights and started to bang on the floor. Much, much better as far as sound production goes. Still no response. At one point I started to switch arms because I wanted to get an even workout between the two. They would occasionally stop, so I would stop. And then they would start up again. At one point they even started to bang on my floor. The nerve.

Here's where the Seinfeld episode started to formulate in my mind: We would go back and forth banging on the floor or on the ceiling. The music would get louder so I would get my music and hold the speakers to my floor. I would choose some score from an opera--something that I love but something that I'm sure would torment them. I would be relentless. Between the weights and the opera surely I would win. But then I remembered that far too often, Seinfeld episodes would end unfavorably for our main characters. As a friendly ending didn't readily come to my mind, Seinfeld then turned into a CSI episode...something much more realistic and believable for my building. I could then picture them pulling out a gun and shooting me through my floor or maybe them coming to my door and as I went to answer it they would shoot me through the peephole. Incidentally, if I am found dead within the next week or so, it was my neighbors in 4E.

I really could have kept up the back and forth for an hour or more if I had wanted to. I was that ticked. But I thought about it and decided to not waste my time that way. Instead, I decided to waste my time complaining about them on my blog.

Pretty please, let me be magic....Evanesco! (It's a vanishing spell.) :)

twilight years

2009-12-07T23:11:00.003-05:00

Every year our ward holds an amateur film festival called the Lingos (in honor of Johnny Lingo and as opposed to the Mormies). This was the winning video this year--written by my friend Maria, staring my friend Heather, and supported by other friends in the ward/stake as well.

This speaks to me on so many levels. Enjoy! :)

Twilight Years from Tom on Vimeo.

but remember, while it is me today, we all shall FALL 2009

2009-12-07T23:05:00.003-05:00

tomorrow, tomorrow, i love ya, tomorrow!

2009-11-18T23:26:00.002-05:00

Oh Edward, it's been too long.......

Until tomorrow at midnight, my love....

stalking alert

2009-11-07T16:29:00.004-05:00

Check out my new celebrity crush: Matthew Bomer...

...of White Collar, a new Television series on USA. Thanks to Hulu, I can still catch this blue-eyed masterpiece without having to spring for cable.

He's all that I've ever wanted. We're very happy. Thank you...

27! Go Yankees!!!!

2009-11-05T01:06:00.006-05:00

The last time the city went crazy like this was when Obama won the Presidential Election. There was something in the air then...something exciting....something that brought this city together in a mostly united front. It was exciting and fun to be a part of something so monumental while I was tucked away safely in my apartment--close enough to hear, but far enough away to avoid extremists.

This same "united feeling" seemed to spread like wildfire when the New York Yankees won their 27th World Series Wednesday night. All day people were talking predictions and strategies. When the actual game was on, fans were glued to televisions or radios, in sports bars, on the sidewalk, or in their homes. Once the Yankees were declared victors, people poured into the streets--cheering, hollering, and chanting. They drove by in cars honking their horns and pumping their fists into the night air.

Granted, the NY Yankees winning the series doesn't even come close to the election of a new President of the United States, but what I'm referring to is the united feeling that permeated the city. It was nearly tangible. It's nice when something good brings people together. It's nice when people are happy and friendly with complete strangers.

And so, Yankee fan or not, this team brought this huge and sometimes isolated city together for a brief moment...and what a great moment it was!

Go Yankees!!!!

it's the end of the world as we know it

2009-11-03T11:31:00.006-05:00

This morning's conversation with the cab driver as he was unloading my suitcases in front of my apartment building:

Cabbie: Why do you live here?

Me: It's cheap.

Cabbie: If you ever need a cab and you see me around here, you'll know it's the end of the world. I never come here....

Gee, thanks....

love it

2009-10-31T04:13:00.003-04:00

i didn't start the fire 2

2009-10-26T23:41:00.008-04:00

I don't normally get ready for bed twice in one day, but the other night I had to. The first round was routine. But the second came out of necessity.

I was sitting at my computer ready to shut down for the night when I heard sirens. Yes, quite routine in the city, even more so in my neighborhood, but when they stop right in front of my building, it does cause some concern. So like any normal person stuck on the fifth floor of an old building I ran to the window to confirm that the commotion was indeed right outside my window. RESULT: Yes. They were right outside my window.

One, two, three, and then four fire trucks had all converged on the street below. Sirens wailing, lights flashing, and passers-by all standing on the opposite side. The situation was oddly familiar. If you'll remember the same thing happened a few years ago around the exact same time--October--when my friend Cheri was visiting. She was the one who woke up, heard the sirens, noticed the lights, and decided that she had better wake me. Strange that her whispering my name woke me up rather than the sirens outside.

Now I was faced with a real decision. The last time this happened we didn’t know whether or not we should evacuate. The same dilemma was mine this time too. Instead of dialing 911, however, I ran to get my camera and took a picture.

After I snapped my shot, I decided I should prepare for the worst and got dressed. I debated putting my make up on again. After all, if I couldn’t get back into my apartment for the night (Yes, I’m good at worst case scenarios), then I would have to be out and about until I found a place to stay. I opted to get dressed and skipped the makeup. The next decision--what to take with me?

I considered grabbing my carry on and stuffing it full of things....a change of clothing, my laptop, my purse, my camera, photos....I wondered how long I had. I was pretty sure that I could be very quick. Looking back, I find it funny that even in a questionably unsafe condition, I was more worried about my belongings and the way that I looked than my actual safety.

Anyway, before I had an opportunity to pack a bag, the lights stopped flashing and the firemen packed up and left. I was safe. No need to flee...

But I did have to get ready for bed once again.

i hate late night phone calls

2009-10-24T23:16:00.003-04:00

I hate late night phone calls. I mean, in and of themselves, they're not a bad thing. I guess I have just had too many bad experiences with phone calls at random times--times when you shouldn't be getting any.

I was talking to a friend the other day about how I have been conditioned to think that certain calls at certain times from certain people automatically equate something negative. It's not a normal response to think that a family member calling me in the middle of the day is a bad thing. And yet, every time it happens, my heart stops and I say a prayer that everything is OK. Perhaps that speaks more to the type of communication that I have with my family than anything....but maybe it is also indicative of my irrationality in some areas.

Tonight, however, it wasn't an irrational thought and the knots in my stomach were completely justified in the end. My supervisor called me. It was after 10:00pm. He asked me to call him back. His voice was sober. I braced myself for the worst, but you are never prepared. It was just as I had expected. A co-worked had gotten into a serious car accident and was killed. He wasn't just injured, his life was taken.

Even now, a little more than 2 hours later, I am still having a difficult time believing that the phone call was real. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that I won't ever have another interaction with him. It makes me sick to think of his poor family--his wife, his children, his mother, his siblings. It makes me sick to think of how this tragedy will forever change their lives.

Those words "there's been a tragedy" are painfully familiar. My family has experienced death far more often than is fair. Normally experience and the familiarity it brings, makes things easier. But death never gets easier. My reactions are always the same...the gravity of the loss is always intense.

I'm glad that my last interaction with him was a positive one. I think that I even praised him and profusely thanked him for something that he had done for me. I am grateful to know that there is life after death, that this is not the end. He was a good man and his influence will be felt, I'm sure, for years and years to come.

Clark, you will be missed...

Children see. Children Do.

2009-10-20T20:44:00.002-04:00

this is why i do what i do....

these are a few of my favorite things...

2009-10-03T00:47:00.011-04:00

the smell of soap, cologne, and rain
sleep, cold room, warm fuzzy blankets piled on high
Indian & Thai Food
brutal massages
traveling & staying in hotels
keyboard shortcuts
planning & executing a perfectly-timed & tasty dinner
laughing & people that make me laugh
music
spring flowers & spring weather
fall clothing & fall weather
when little kids laugh uncontrollably
people with passion
making others happy
movies and documentaries
soup and appetizer parties
fancy drinks
men :)

$175? no problem.

2009-09-28T23:07:00.003-04:00

You know, despite the fact that I have lived in New York City for over six years, I find it amusing that I am still quite literally taken aback by the amount of money that people spend on clothing and other little "luxuries/necessities" (the exact term used is completely dependent upon who is using it). Yes, I like nice things just as much as anyone else out there. In fact, to my dismay, whenever I am window shopping, browsing through a catalog or actually looking for something that I need, my personal tastes usually drift towards the expensive side of the spectrum. I know, it shouldn't be a problem for this (insert sarcasm) "high rolling" social worker, but I do have a problem with it. At least my wallet has a problem with it so I usually make a compromise instead.

Tonight I got home and an Ann Taylor advertisement was waiting for me patiently in my mailbox. I opened the tri-fold to see if there was anything interesting. My eyes immediately went to these great looking pair of shoes. Next my eyes were drawn to the price... $175! I'm sorry, but I am NOT spending $175 on shoes. I don't care how cute they are or what they will match or if Mr. Fancy-Pants Shoe Designer made them. $175 on shoes is too much for me.

The scary thing is, compared to other stores on 5th Avenue, Ann Taylor is probably seen as one of the lower end clothing stores. (I mean, sometimes even I can afford the sale rack.) So I started to think about NYC shoppers and realized that if people were willing to pay $95 for a young Hollywood, linen scarf that had a "love quote" attached to it with a piece of string and safety pin, then they are also probably willing to pay that measly $175 for a pair of shoes....and yes, well beyond that price for others. (p.s. I have one of these scarves...BUT I got it at a charity auction. i still love it though.)

I guess I'd like to think that if I ever came into exorbitant amounts of money, that I would still be a wise shopper, that I could maintain my taste for finer things but still be reasonable about it. Anyway, if anyone is interested in helping me to test my theory, I'm totally up for enjoying a larger cash flow. Just have your people contact my people.

dear fall, please stay. love, malia

2009-09-25T00:16:00.003-04:00

I don't know what it is about Fall, but for me, it is magic, romance and possibilities all rolled up into one. OK, maybe not romance at this point in my life, but Fall would be a perfect time for it and well, here's to hoping! I'm always hoping.

For the last few weeks, New York has enjoyed some "unusual" weather. In my opinion, it has been beautiful. To others, it has been the cause of much strife and my declarations of love have generated strange glances in my direction. They see Fall as the ending of a glorious, hot summer--the death of fun. I see it as sweet relief from a hot, humid, sweaty mess, and oh, the possibilities! Here's just a few of the things that I can't quite wait for:

cool breezes * sweaters & scarves * hot chocolate * sleeping with the window wide open * sleeping with covers again * leaves changing colors * outside not being as hot as the subway platform * pumpkin carving * apple picking * fabulous birthdays for fabulous people * fall clothing * fall colors * road trips, please * back to school * football & basketball with friends * not sweating my face off * taking walks * daylight savings (gotta love that extra hour) * crisp nights * fall foods....

Even now, trying to list all that I love about Fall doesn't do it justice. I can't quite put into words the excited, happy feeling I get when I picture this beautiful season. Oh pretty please, will you stay awhile? It would be a sweet reward after living here through yet another summer. I know, I know, it wasn't "that bad"....says you....

can i get an amen?

2009-09-22T21:27:00.005-04:00

My commute, from start to finish is a little less than an hour--depending on the train traffic and just how late I might leave the apartment. To pass the time and to satiate my need to always be doing something productive, I listen to podcasts in the morning and on the return trip home. When my brain can't handle any more learning, I'll switch over to my music. Typically, I will listen to a past General Conference talk in the morning and something a little more secular later in the day.

Yesterday, was no different....well, almost.

It was rush hour. The train was packed and I was, as usual, surrounded by throngs of commuting strangers. Per my routine, I clicked on a talk that I hadn't listened to in a while. Apparently, I was completely engrossed because before I knew it, he closed with the typical "Amen" and I followed suit.

"Amen," I uttered aloud. Now, I didn't whisper. I used a normal talking voice. Yep...

Immediately, the four other people that I was sharing the pole with jerked their heads around and looked at me...very strangely. Now, I don't get usually get embarrassed. If something "embarrassing" happens to me, I am usually the first one to laugh at myself. I find it funny, not embarrassing. But this time, I was embarrassed. Not that it should matter but I didn't want these people thinking that I was some sort of religious nut preparing to start a sermon of some sort.

However, despite my being embarrassed, I couldn't stop laughing at myself. I mean, it is funny. But I was dying to get off the train. Luckily, I only had one more stop before I switched to the R/W line and found sweet, heavenly relief.

BE happy

2009-09-13T12:15:00.002-04:00

So I just checked a friend's blog and found this little diddy. If anyone had the right to be grumpy, little Anne Frank was certainly one of them. I'm not yet cured of the grumpies, but I think a little dose of reality such as this sure does help. There is a lot of beauty in the world and I can decide to BE happy. We'll see how it goes.

a serious case of the grumpies

2009-09-13T11:04:00.005-04:00

As a child, did you ever get sent to your room? You know, the "go to your room for the rest of the night to think about what you did and don't come out until you feel sorry and will be nice again" type of sent to your room? For the most part I was a good kid. At least I thought I was and being sent to my room really only occurred when I would 1) fight with my brother or 2) when I got a "little" too competitive when playing board/card games as a family or 3) when I would talk back to my parents or 4) ....well, kids are kids, right?

Anyway, for the last two days I have had a serious case of the grumpies and wish that someone would have told me to go to my room and not come out until I can be nice again. Being a child and being subject to the will of a parent sometimes has its advantages. Adulthood, on the other hand, doesn't always lend itself to the luxury of "time outs" or "do-overs" and so I have to get over this on my own. I don't remember the last time I have been in a mood like this, but I sure don't like it.

I've snapped at co-workers. The smallest things annoy me. I hate the ran. I hate the heat. I hate my apartment. I miss my family. It's too expensive here. Why am I poor? I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I've even given attitude to complete strangers.

Case in point--Yesterday, as I was walking down the subway stairs a nice man was walking up them. It seemed as if he was putting his Metrocard back into his wallet. Instead, it fell to the ground behind him. He didn't notice. I got his attention and the conversation went like this:

Nice Me: "Oh, you dropped your Metrocard."

Nice Man: "Oh, it didn't have anything on it. Thanks anyway." He smiled appreciatively.

Mean Me: (with definite tone) "Oh....you littered." And I continued on my way. I didn't even pick up the dang card.

What is wrong with me? Call it what you want, but I think am a little burned out. No excuse, I know, but I think that's what it really is and I eagerly await a recharge in whatever form it decides to come. I'm hoping that a good dose of church and really amazing people will be just what the doctor ordered. If that doesn't work, I am sending myself home straightaway until I can be nicer...or at least until Monday morning comes and I have to be an adult and go to work again.

there's no place like home...

2009-09-07T18:15:00.002-04:00

there's no place like home....enough said.

oh boston--July 4, 2009

2009-09-07T18:06:00.002-04:00

I know that this is a little late, but this is what I did over Independence Day. I went to Boston with some of my really good, darling friends: Jane, Liz, and Karen. I love these girls! We had a blast.

oh, who are the people in your neighborhood

2009-08-30T23:48:00.007-04:00

Oh, who are the people in your neighborhood,
In your neighborhood,
In your neighborhood?

Oh, who are the people in your neighborhood?
They're the people that you meet
When you're walking down the street
They're the people that you meet...each day!!!

This little guy's picture has been around the neighborhood for quite some time now. The reward is up to $12000!!! Yay! Hopefully, I find him. Actually, no. He's wanted for sexual assault at knife point in an elevator around 148th Street. Yeah, that's were I live....Maybe I'll start taking the stairs. Oh wait, the cops said never to take the stairs...

They're the people that you meet
When you're walking down the street
They're the people that you meet...each day!!!

cheese

2009-08-29T10:32:00.005-04:00

My friend Adam is always teasing me about my impractical “healthy” eating habits. Every time he would come to my home he would inevitably find in the refrigerator something low-fat or fat free. From his exaggerated reactions to these items, you would have thought that I had insulted his very being. (Perhaps I did. :) ) Naturally, the teasing worsened when Lent rolled around and I decided to give up processed foods. The two allowances I made were whole grain bread (I wasn’t about to start paying $5 for a loaf) and milk (I go through about a gallon a week--at least). Other than that, most everything I ate was whole, natural, unrefined, and made from scratch. Talk about difficult and time consuming. Sometimes it would take me so long to figure out what I could actually eat that I wasn’t hungry by the time I had come up with food options. It was trying, to say the least, but it got me thinking about the way that our society views and consumes food. I also started reading labels and figuring out exactly what I am putting into my body. It’s pretty shocking to see what types of ingredients we are consuming without even blinking an eye.

The other day, I was in a rush to get some grocery shopping done and mistakenly picked up some low fat mozzarella cheese. I wanted to make a Caprese Salad with some tomatoes that I had picked up from the Farmer’s Market. When I got home, I realized my folly but wasn’t about to waste my $6 purchase. I made my beautiful, little salad, cut my first piece and took a bite. It was disgusting. The tomato and basil were divine, but that cheese did NOT hit the spot. I started to laugh because I thought of Adam and could hear him saying something to the effect of “See! I told you so!”

I find it interesting that I am in more in agreement with Adam at this point in relation to “fat free” or “low fat” foods. They don’t taste very good and they don’t use real ingredients. I much prefer a little bit of real butter or cream as opposed to something chemically engineered. Lent has come and gone and I have definitely not been as regimented as I was before, but I am still reading labels, still studying up on food and nutrition, and still watching what I am actually putting into my mouth. Now I’m not going to get into the debate between Organic vs. Conventional Foods here, rather, I just wanted to say, Adam, in this instance, you were right...despite the fact that you love processed Kraft Singles.

born to notice

2009-08-25T21:18:00.007-04:00

"Born to Notice"

For the past week or so I have been walking around the city, happily greeted by some great Gap ads from their new "Born to Fit" campaign. I don't really shop at Gap (gasp), nor will I really start (double gasp) but I sure do appreciate their ads. They've certainly caught my attention...
I mean, I want this man...er...to buy these jeans...

I prefer the man in the middle, rather, the jeans in the middle. The ones that are paired with the denim jacket. The model seems to wear them very well. Below is a better shot of the jeans. Again, my favorite "jeans" are the ones on the right. I searched for a good 30 minutes for his solo ad but apparently the search engines of the world had it in for me tonight and did not let me find him and his sexy pose...again, I mean, those fabulous jeans that he is wearing.

But I have to hand it to Gap. They definitely, definitely know how to catch my attention. Here's one of my all time favorites featuring Scott Speedman. When I first moved to New York, vendors often sold Gap ads on the street. One night I was walking home from something and I passed Columbia. A vendor was selling this particular ad. Now it wasn't a small, phone booth sized ad. It was a store front window sized ad. For some reason (sheer stupidity), I didn't buy it and for weeks after, I stopped at every vendor trying to find it. But no such luck, I completely struck out on this Scott Speedman specialty. Talk about a once in a life time deal!

Here's another ad that stopped me dead in my tracks. Literally. But it was after I ran into the corner of street kiosk in front of a Gap store. Can you blame me? Who doesn't love a little John Krasinski?

Bless you, Gap for producing some amazing ads....and clothing that a lot of people like to wear too.

i like plants and cats...do you?

2009-08-19T21:57:00.006-04:00

KEY:

plain font = stalker
italics = stalked (a.k.a. Malia)
bold = rescuer

A couple of weeks ago, I went to my friend's house to retrieve my plant that she had been babysitting for me while I was in Utah. It was late and as usual the trains were infrequent and weren't running as quickly as they do during the day. It was hot, humid, and I was tired. With plant in hand, I boarded the train. There were a few empty seat but I didn't feel like sitting down so I made my way to the middle of the train. A man near the door motioned for me to come and sit next to him. To be honest, it looked a little squishy, he looked a little scary, and I was too hot to even think about being that close to someone...let alone a complete stranger.

I politely declined and pretended to be caught up in my thoughts and slowly turned so that I wasn't facing him. A few moments passed and he moved to the opposite side of the car so that he was facing me once again. Another few minutes passed and he motioned for me to come over to him. I shook my head. He motioned to me once more. I smiled and said no. By now people were watching our exchange. At this point, he said, "Come on. Be polite." So, not wanting to seem like the subway grouch, I slowly made my way over to him. He then motioned for me to sit down while he stood up. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I told him no and that I was completely content to be standing. He then began to chastise me, "I'm trying to be a gentleman. You should try to be a lady."

Really? Did you just say that to me? I determined to absolutely NOT sit down at this point.

"No," I said firmly. "I am fine." And I moved away from him closer to another man on the subway who was watching us intently. (He was super cute, by the way, and I was wishing that HE was the one engaging me in conversation instead of this drunk, stalker man. He was tall, had dark hair, rippling muscles and a friendly face. He wore a green shirt, black shorts, and was carrying a gym bag. He smiled at me as I moved closer to him. I will call him Alex....but I digress.) Stalker man then started to whip out his "womanizing" tricks while slowly inching towards me:

"So you like plants?"
(I did my best to stifle a laugh.) "Yeah."
"I like plants. Do you know what kind that is? It looks like it would grow big if it was outside."
" Maybe. I don't know what kind this is. A friend gave it to me."
"Yeah, I like plants....and cats. I really like cats. Do you like cats?"
(Now I do like cats, but I didn't want him to find another commonality between us...I mean after plants and cats surely dating and marriage would follow, right? But I didn't lie.) "Yes, I like cats." (I took a step back.)
"Yeah, I had a cat once but when my ex kicked me out she kept the cat and then later kicked the cat out." (He stepped closer.)
(Sad.) "I'm sorry. That's not very nice."
"Yeah, I really miss that cat. But I like cats and plants."
"OK."

Now take note that everyone, and I repeat EVERYONE in the train car was watching us and the awkwardness that was uniquely ours. What was really bothering me though, was that my stop was coming up soon and he was still on the train. I was starting to worry that we would both get off at the same time and that he would follow me home. Alternate plans started to float around in my head and I found myself hoping that police would be canvasing the area like they normally do when I got out. He continued to try to chat but most of his speech was slurred or too quiet to hear. I wasn't about to get closer to better understand him.

"Well this is my stop." (Thankfully, it was the one right before mine.)
"OK, bye."
"I would ask for your name, but I probably won't see you again?"
"Yep, no. Probably not. No need. Goodnight. Nice to meet you."

He reached for my hand and for some reason I gave it to him. It was a weak shake...the ending of a weak pick-up. I breathed sigh of relief as he got off and the tension in the car started to melt.

I looked over at Alex and we exchanged knowing glances.

"I'm sorry! I couldn't think of anything to say. I was racking my brain, trying to think of reasons to interrupt your conversation with him. You know, something like, 'So what are we going to have for dinner tonight?' But you know."
"Aw, thanks. Yeah, I was afraid that he was going to get off at my stop."
"Yeah, me too. I would have done something though. Don't worry. I was totally with you."

We chatted for a few minutes and I found myself wishing that HE would follow me home, but no such luck. I had to smile though, as I walked back home. New York unites people. We're all struggling through the heat, we all have to ride the crowded subway cars, we all deal with crazies. We all have to carry groceries, run for the elevator, and all of these things and a million others bring us together to the point that a complete stranger is willing to change his travel plans so that he can help out a complete stranger who needs an escort home. New Yorkers get a bad rap sometimes. But I have to say that it is completely unfair. I have been privy to more acts of kindness, generosity, and unity than I can count. Granted every group of people has its grumpies and those that are just plain inconsiderate, but for the most part, New Yorkers are willing to be a part of a team and I love it.

Just like my handsome "almost, but completely willing" rescuer, Alex.

more ovaltine, please

2009-08-13T23:17:00.007-04:00

More Ovaltine, Please...

The other night a friend said the word, "Ovaltine" and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I should probably just buy some so that I can get rid of this nagging craving. For some reason I am always surprised when people know about Ovaltine. In my head, it's something top secret. I feel like it's something that only I had when I grew up...a special treat that was passed down from generation to generation. It is sacred, associated with a happy childhood.

But that's not the case. Ovaltine is actually distributed nationwide and many, many people have tasted of its goodness. Just so you know.

The nice thing about it, though, is that it does remind me of my childhood...mostly my Mom. She was, after all, the one who first introduced it to me. She would tell me stories of how she and her Father would sometimes have Ovaltine together as a "night cap" and naturally, I would look forward to those times when I got to do the same...with both her and my Grandfather.

I also remember, very distinctly the night that I had my first Ovaltine malt. I remember the texture. It was perfect. Not too thick, not too thin. I drank it with a bendy straw. The taste was a perfect blend of Ovaltine and extra malt. One didn't overpower the other. I thought that my Mother had created a masterpiece, something that the world, once they found out about it, would clamor to have. In the end, she didn't go public with the recipe but it was probably for the best. Our apartment was too small to accommodate long lines of raging fans.

Other times, I remember sneaking into the kitchen, (after I had brushed my teeth, of course) grabbing a spoon, walking over to the can of Ovaltine and taking out a heaping spoonful (because that's what the directions said to do), making sure that I scooped out the largest little nuggets of heaven because they popped just right in my mouth. I would hold the spoon steady and let my tongue press against the tip of the Ovaltine heap so that the top of my tongue would be covered. I would let that dissolve and then do it again and again until my spoonful was gone. Sometimes I would go back for more. Other times, it was too risky. But every time I was satisfied. Had I known that Ovaltine was "rich in essential vitamins and minerals", I might not have felt so guilty. It would have been more like I was doing my Mom a favor...

This craving, I'm sure will pass. It will go as quickly as it came. But I sure am glad that those nostalgic memories are here to stay.

ode to the trader...ode to the joe

2009-08-11T22:19:00.006-04:00

So today during my lunch break I decided to venture to 14th and 3rd. Now if you are familiar with that area, you know the Mecca of which I speak. Now when I say Mecca, I mean it. It has been the destination of many, a destination that I didn't quite understand until just recently. Ok for those of you who don't know, I speak of...

Trader Joe's

As I've started to explore the art of Raw Eating and have attempted to incorporate much of that healthy lifestyle into my life (Attempted=had Ben & Jerry's tonight with some fabulous friends. Don't judge.) I've come to appreciate grocery stores that carry products and produce that are organic, local, and that use as little processing as possible--you know, natural, food that is actually food and not humanly engineered into food.

Now, those of you who do the same thing also know that this can get really expensive, and despite being a high-rollin', fabulously paid social worker (enter sarcasm), I can't really afford to eat completely organic, local, or natural. While I try my best, there is only so much that I can do.

So the fabulous thing about Trader Joe's is that it is super cheap! Instead of spending $40 on a bag of groceries, I only spent about $20. Now that's savings. Granted, it doesn't have everything and it is a schlep, but I think that I'm going to brave the distance, the sore shoulders (because of the grocery hauling), and yes, even the long lines...at least sometimes. :)

P.S. While I'm declaring my love for stores, I do have to give a hearty shout-out to Whole Foods. Can I just say that I am in love with that store? I can wander around for hours, reading labels, dreaming up food combinations, trying to figure out how to make certain products myself, and marveling at the types of products that the health world comes up with. In my heart, it has become akin to Bed, Bath & Beyond (#1 fave) and Barnes & Noble (#2). Shouldn't I get some sort of kickback for all of this advertising??? And why didn't I blog about Whole Foods? I don't know. I guess it's because I got raw almond butter for $4.99. :)

what the?

2009-08-11T22:16:00.004-04:00

So I got home today and my bed looked like this...

And I thought, "What the...?"

Then I remembered that I did it and started to clean straightaway. All better.

can you become?

2009-07-31T21:50:00.007-04:00

Dear Sally,

I don't even remember how or when I started, but all I know is that I did and I have loved it ever since.

Felicity, a four year drama series following the life of a shy, yet beautiful college student begins on the day of her high school graduation. Uninspired by her parents' mapped-out life plan for her, Felicity decides to follow her secret crush and moves across the country to follow him...someone she didn't even really know.

As the series unfolds, the typical college-age drama ensues and followers of Felicity come to love and sometimes hate all of the characters at one time or another.

I recently purchased all four seasons of Felicity while I was back in Utah. Just tonight I opened Season One and popped in the first dvd. And it all came rushing back to me...

I couldn't help but smile and feel that swell of emotions that come with following an overemotional drama-laden co-ed for a good four years. I smiled as I got my first glance of Ben Covington (Scott Speedman) and was reminded of his sweet moments, the way he kisses, and of just how much I like the rugged look and his sexy grin. I melted when we were first introduced to cute Noel (Scott Foley) and how he patiently deals with Felicity's never-ending, selfish freak-out moments. I was still torn just as I was before, as the love triangle unfolded and couldn't help but sympathize with the one who was left out. I was embarrassed by all of the awkward moments that Felicity's need for honestly always brought on. I was envious of the "Dear Sally" recordings and loved how each character began to weave himself into this elaborate pattern that we call the show.

But most of all, I remembered that Felicity (the show) housed the beginnings of my soul encompassing love and passion for New York City. It made the city look sexy, fun, and full of opportunity and beautiful adventures. Sigh....If only real life came with a script and two hunks vying for my attention...

Talk soon.

Love,

Malia

P.S. Did I mention the music? Check this out!

it's a boy!

2009-07-30T20:00:00.003-04:00

It's a boy!!!

Please welcome with love...

Mac

July 29, 2009
5.5 lbs
15 inches

the need for speed

2009-07-24T22:13:00.005-04:00

So I kind of like speeding....a lot.

Oh, and I saw this car today! So beautiful. (Mustang 2009--the orange one)

And I really wish I had this one. (Chevelle 1969)

I miss driving.

The End.

thunder, thunder, thunder, thundercats….ho!

2009-07-23T03:30:00.002-04:00

thunder, thunder, thunder, thundercats….ho!

Some of my earliest and fondest memories are of watching Saturday morning cartoons with my brother. I remember strategically waking up early enough to ensure that we caught all of the shows that we wanted to see that day. It was fun to plant ourselves in front of the TV with snacks in hand for those early morning episodes of fun and yes, childhood suspense.

We loved most cartoons and the variety ranged from The Smurfs, Looney Tunes, Jem (one of my favorites, not James’), GI Joe, He-Man, Transformers, etc. But one of our all time favorites had to be Thundercats. I don’t know what it was with those fierce felines, but we loved them. I might have even had a crush on Lion-O…and Tygra…

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I was down at Wall Street participating in a Volunteer Fair at Morgan Stanley. I was walking back to the train when I came upon a street vendor selling DVD’s. They looked new and were in their original packaging. The familiar Thundercats symbol popped out at me and I knew I had to buy it. I bought one for me and one for my brother.

For the last few days, James and I have once again, planted ourselves in front of the TV and watched episodes of Thundercats. Once again, we arm ourselves with snacks and blankets and enjoy as the now simpler plots unfold. We started with the pilot episodes and it was interesting to put things into their original context. We never really worried much about the beginnings when we were little. I don’t think that we were paying that much attention. But it’s been fun to stroll down memory lane once again. OH! And we finally learned the lyrics to the theme song. Not so complicated all these years later.

For your singing pleasure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Na8ThDftsKk

Thunder, thunder, thundercats, Ho!
Thundercats are on the move,
Thundercats are loose,
Feel the magic, hear the Roar,
Thundercats are loose,

Thunder, thunder, thunder, Thundercats!
Thunder, thunder, thunder, Thundercats!
Thunder, thunder, thunder, Thundercats!
Thunder, thunder, thunder, Thundercats! Thundercats!

giddy as a school girl

2009-07-23T02:48:00.003-04:00

Chelsea Market, 4:00pm.

I paused as I approached the entrance of the building to make sure that I looked presentable. Through the glass doors in front of me, the infamous logo caught my eye amidst a sea of others. Despite my attempt to refrain from smiling, a grin escaped anyhow. I opened the doors and made my way towards the back of the building, just as directed—pass the waterfall, the café, and then turn left down a hallway, take the elevator. I had arrived…The Food Network!

One of the perks to my job is that I get to meet a lot of amazing people who work at some really great corporations. Someone from Scripps Network (parent company of The Food Network) approached me about hosting a Career Day for some of our youth. While discussing details I was invited to take a tour of the studios (the same one that the kids would take) and then further discuss the upcoming event. Naturally, I had to go…I mean, walk-throughs are standard in this business. ☺

But there couldn’t have been a happier girl alive.

As I waited in the lobby the Tyler Florence show was airing on a large plasma screen TV mounted on the wall. The end tables were stocked with cooking magazines and books and I was envious of even the receptionist as she was surrounded by so much wonderful! A few minutes later, my contact came out to greet me. We chatted for a bit and then started the glorious tour. I was literally giddy as we went from room to room as I recognized Bobby Flay’s Throwdown test kitchen, as I watched them edit a Rachel Ray’s 30 Minute Meals episode, and was privy to a preview of an upcoming promo commercial for Food Network Challenge. I wanted to quit my job and run away to culinary school. But I about flipped my lid when I walked into the main studio and realized that I was in Iron Chef America’s Kitchen Stadium!!!!!

I know, I know, big deal, right? YES, it was a BIG DEAL! Iron Chef is my FAVORITE show in the whole world! I could watch that show for hours and hours and be perfectly content. And if it’s Iron Chef Bobby Flay?...Be still my beating heart. (It’s probably the #1 reason that I wish I had a TV.) As embarrassing as it was, I could barely contain my excitement. I stood where Alton Brown gives his commentary, I saw where the judges sit during the show, and where the competitor enters bathed in glowing lights. I saw the two fully stocked kitchens, the 20+ cameras overhead that capture every angle, and I saw the gigantic secret ingredient box marked with its signature knives that form an X. It took everything I had to not whip out my camera and have my “tour guide” take my picture. But I refrained as the place was bustling with producers, technicians, and other stage crew.

We concluded the tour shortly thereafter. I asked my questions “for the kids” and I got in a lot of my own. But after it was all said and done, I couldn’t stop smiling and was giddy for the rest of the day. The only thing that could have made it better would have been to attend a live taping (not a possibility for Iron Chef)…or running into Bobby Flay, of course.

happy father's day!

2009-06-21T18:48:00.008-04:00

It's been nine years since I have bought my Dad a Father's Day gift. It seems weird to me that it has been so long. Usually around this time of year I lay low and do my best to treat this Sunday as I would any other Sunday, as a protective measure. But for some reason I'm a little more open and as a result, a little more emotional than I would like to admit today. Sitting here, alone in my apartment has given me considerable time to reflect upon life and what I value as important. And aside from the Gospel, my family (which is central to the Gospel Plan) is the most important thing in the world to me.

I miss my Father...very much. I miss having him around and knowing that he would be home whenever I returned. I miss his silly jokes that he thought were hilarious. I miss hearing his beautiful singing voice at 3:00 in the morning. I miss how excited he would get on payday when he could take all of us out for dinner. I miss his love and passion for the Polynesian culture and I miss that same love and passion that he had for the Gospel. He was the kind of man that would reach out to his home teaching families several times a month. He was the kind of man that would make a whole bunch of extra food so that he could deliver meals to families that needed them. He was the kind of man that would call old friends out of the blue just to let them know that he was thinking of them. He was the kind of man that taught me that service isn't always convenient but that you do it anyway. No questions. No complaints.

And so, I miss him.

But I have decided that just because he isn't around anymore, it doesn't mean that I can't get him a gift. Now don't worry, I'm not delusional. I don't think that there is some special courier that can carry an item from this life into the next, but I do think that I can do something in honor of this great man--a different kind of gift. So from here on out, I will revisit the idea of a "gift" on Father's Day. I will do something or change something in my life that can show him that I love and honor him despite the distance. I just won't have to wrap it.

And so, Dad, after much thought, I think that this year's gift from me to you, will be my adoption of one of your mantras--"Service is never convenient, but you do it anyway. It's not for you. It's for others." The funny thing about this gift is that I think that ultimately it will bless me more than it will bless him or anyone that I choose to serve. Isn't that always how it works though?

Ayway, I miss you dad. I love you and I will love you forever and ever. Happy Father's Day!

free agency vs. the nba playoffs

2009-06-08T20:04:00.004-04:00

So my mom is a huge basketball fan. Whenever there is a game on, you can be sure that she is watching...especially if it is the Utah Jazz. Playoff games, however, also draw her attention.

Last night I was chatting with her and of course, the Lakers vs. Orlando Magic game was on. It was the 2nd game of the Series. The Lakers were up by a small margin and then my mom said one of the funniest things ever in reference to the Lakers and making them mess up (We HATE the Lakers):

"I know that we fought over free agency, but sometimes I wish we could make people do things."

Translation: Yes, we fought over free agency in Heaven, but if she could she would probably "force" (in a voodoo sort of way) the Lakers to mess up badly enough that they would lose.

I thought it was hilarious and loved that she would even say that.

I love you, Mom! Thanks for always making me laugh!!!

i am not your consolation prize. goodbye.

2009-05-23T23:57:00.007-04:00

So I finally saw "When Harry Met Sally".

DAMN that Friend Zone...DAMN THAT FRIEND ZONE!!!

And so as the story goes..."I am not your consolation prize. Goodbye."

i can't help myself

2009-05-20T22:14:00.008-04:00

I can't help myself....

Nigel Barker

Jay Manuel

...but i just have the biggest crush on these two men:

Nigel Barker (first photo) and Jay Manuel (second photo)

Both are on America's Next Top Model--a reality show that I am strangely addicted to. I say strangely addicted because

1) I hate reality TV

2) I always made fun of this show but my friend Jeff was watching an ANTM marathon one day when I came to visit him. I was making fun of him and the show for about the first 20 minutes and then I was totally sucked in. I was fascinated that these models looked like normal people without makeup and getting their hair did. :) (save the fact that they are all skinny minis and that models that are a size 2 are considered on the heavier side)

3) I don't really HAVE to watch it all the time. If I miss an episode it's not the end of the world

4) It's not really the show that I like, but rather the transformations at the photo shoots. It's amazing what make up and stylists can do.

Anyway, aside from the photo shoots, my favorite parts of the show are Jay and Nigel. Yes, Jay is not into girls, but I adore him. He is so good at what he does and is just plain awesome. I have the biggest crush on him!!! When he comes on screen I am screaming and clapping (in my heart) just like those silly 19 year old model wannabes. And Nigel, oh sweet Nigel...well, just look at him. He is incredibly sexy. Seriously, I can't get enough of him. He too, is super talented. He is a noted fashion photographer and a judge on the show. And to top it all off, he has a fabulous English accent. How hot is that?

Anyway, I love them. The end.

oh to be rich!!!

2009-05-16T11:50:00.003-04:00

Oh to be rich!

There are very few instances wherein you get paid to do something that is completely enjoyable. (Don’t think about that too hard.) But for me, the other night was one such occasion.

For work I was asked to help out with a charity event. But this was not just any charity event—it was a bachelor auction. :) My evening was full of 20 handsome, charming, and eligible bachelors. Needless to say, I was in HEAVEN. I am still giddy just thinking about it. Fortunately for me, my primary role was to check-out…I mean, check-in the bachelors and then to work with them throughout the evening and to ensure that they connected with their dates. As such, it forced me to be in close proximity to a few of them several times throughout the evening. And these particular gentlemen were my favorite, so I was not complaining in the slightest.

A few things that I loved about the event:

1) THE MEN—duh! Not only were they beautiful, successful, and donating their time to charity, but also, they were very sweet. Some of them had fabulous English or French accents, some of them kept me laughing the whole time, some of them were refreshingly forward and invited me to go upstairs to the bar after the event was over, etc. I was happy.

2) As part of the check in process I had to get their contact information and then pin a rose on their lapel. This required close talking and a lot of touching.

3) Flirting galore—these bachelors were so fun and easy to flirt with. I’m sure that they were just as flirty with lots of other women there but I was still loving my life. Who doesn’t love it when men stare deeply into your eyes and flash you an endless smile, stand close to you, put their arm around you, pull you closer to them so that they can hear you better, call you darling in an English accent, and then engage in playful banter?

4) Goodnight kisses—need I say more?

And so I end where I began--Oh, how I wish I were rich! I would have bid on at least four of them. At one point, I even started to consider what I could sacrifice during a month if I laid out several hundred dollars for one of them. Clearly, I didn’t make a bid, but boy did I want to! I guess I should start saving my money or I should have asked for a non-profit discount. :)

wolverine!!!

2009-05-02T14:46:00.005-04:00

Last night I went to X-Men Origins: Wolverine. All I can say is WOWIE! :) I was loving my life. Not only do I LOVE comic book movies--especially the X-Men series--but also, I was with my family, my friend Eric and his family, AND well....look at the pictures below.

Publish Post

praises we sing

2009-04-08T22:58:00.004-04:00

So I was talking to my friend, Jason, the other day, while we were watching General Conference. We were talking about how much we love The Mormon Tabernacle Choir and the hymns. Jason started to list off his top 5. When I thought about naming my top 5 I was completely stumped. I couldn't even dream of narrowing my list down to just 5. Impossible. I just love the hymns so much. Anyway, I thought about it some more and came up with my top 10. Then I also chose my 5 Runners Up. So technically, that is 15. Is that cheating? I don't care. I could list the Runners Up for the Runners Up list as well, but that might be going too far...I know, I'm a nerd.

Top 10 Favorite Hymns in the LdS Hymn Book:

I Believe In Christ (134)

Redeemer of Israel (6)

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty (72)

In Humility, Our Savior (172)

How Firm a Foundation (85)

I Am A Child of God (301)

Joseph Smith’s First Prayer (26)

Our Savior’s Love (113)

Lord, I Would Follow Thee (220)

Now Let Us Rejoice (3)

Runners Up

Love At Home (294)

We Thank Thee, O God for a Prophet (19)

All Creatures of Our God and King (62)

Oh, Come, All Ye Faithful (202)

The Spirit of God (2)

separate, but not what i meant

2009-04-02T21:57:00.002-04:00

So I was buying something for work and for myself the other day. I asked the cashier if I could make two, separate transactions. The cashier said yes.

He rang up the first pile, bagged it. I swiped my card. Then he quickly scanned in the second pile and gave me the new total. He placed the second pile in the bag as well. I reminded him that I had wanted separate transactions.

He said, "Oh," and pulled out the second pile of items, rebagged them, and placed them into the first bag. I didn't bother to clarify again.

that's too bad your brain is so small

2009-03-29T18:43:00.005-04:00

A story from my former life:

While walking through Times Square with my roommate (at the time) & her 1 and 3-year-old nieces, I started to sing various nursery songs with the oldest. As it was slightly sprinkling (as it always does when people come to visit you in New York) we started to sing the familiar "It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring…" After the first verse, the 3-year-old looked up at me and said, "Do you know the other verses?" (Apparently there are more.) To which I replied, "You know what, I don't." Then she enlightened me, "That's too bad your brain is so small."

even though i'll never know you again, we'll still be friends!

2009-03-20T20:41:00.005-04:00

So I made a friend today while sitting in the park on Wednesday. She was four. Her nanny was attending to her older sister who was freaking out because she was loosing a tooth. They asked for napkins and water. Luckily, I had both. Here are some snippets of my conversation with this articulate and charming little girl: (She is in bold)

"My sister's bleeding and she is very upset." "I know, I can see that. But I think she will be ok, don't you?" "Yes, it's just a tooth, it's not like a robber came and shot you." "You are absolutely right."

"You are pretty. You must be nice." "Why thank you. I think you're pretty nice too."

"I like your earrings. What are they made of?" "I'm not sure. Maybe they are made out of plastic. What do you think? (At this point I let her touch the earrings.)" "Hmm, they look like they are made from the ocean. You know how I know?" "No, tell me." "Well they are shiny and pretty and I recognize them from the ocean." "Oh, ok. They look like they are made from shells from the ocean." "Yep." "You're pretty smart." "I know."

"You must be smart because you're eating smart food." "I'm eating a salad. It has a lot of healthy things in it, right?" "Yep, smart food. I don't like it."

And finally, as she was walking away waving furiously….

"Even though I'll never know you again, we'll still be friends!"

sometimes i forget

2009-03-10T20:33:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I forget that I live in one of the greatest cities in the world. And then I look to my right when I am walking to the train stop after work and see this:

I love New York...

a distraction of the best kind

2009-03-10T20:07:00.004-04:00

At lunch I like to take a little walk around my neighborhood. I explore different streets, find fun stores, and spy interesting people. Imagine my delight when I happened upon the following:

It was a HUMONGOUS store front window with these lovely pictures of Jonathan Rhys Meyers modeling their clothing. Needless to say it caught my attention...so much so that I almost ran into a pole. Normally, I wouldn't blog about something as insignificant as this, but I actually forgot that this hottie display was on this particular street two times afterwards. And yes, folks, I almost ran into that same pole two more times. Ahhh, all I can say is that I so appreciate distractions like this...

babies, beets, and kidney beans

2009-03-05T15:26:00.002-05:00

I’m all about parents providing good and healthy food for their children, but sometimes people can go a little overboard. I was on the train a few Saturdays ago and was standing in the corner. An UWS mom entered the train with her 4 year old son in a stroller. They began to have a conversation. Normally, I appreciate when parents actually converse with their kids instead of ignoring them during a long and boring train ride. But for some random reason, this mother continued to get louder and louder. She wasn’t upset; it was more of a “Look at me. I am talking to my kid. Aren’t I a good mother?” type of a deal. People around her started to roll their eyes.

Moments later she pulled out something from her insulated lunch bag to feed to her son. “Do you want some beets?” she asked sweetly. I’m sorry, did you just say beets? Yes. Yes, she did. Her son nodded his head and she proceeded to place one in his mouth. He appeared to be chewing. “Wow,” I thought to myself, “good kid.” He hadn’t quite finished chewing that one but then she stuck another one in his mouth. A few seconds later another one. It wasn’t until now that I realized that he really hadn’t been swallowing the beets but that they were stuck in the sides of his cheek. The other passengers and I exchanged glances at the poor beet boy.

Apparently she didn’t notice because a few minutes later she pulled something else out. “Do you want some kidney beans?” KIDNEY BEANS!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Come on lady! He’s four! I just barely learned to like those things! The woman next to her let out a small chuckle and looked to me for validation. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled. The mother pulled out a plastic spoon and scooped up a too-large-to-fit-into-anyone’s-mouth spoonful of kidney beans and proceeded to shove it into her son’s mouth. I say shove, because he still had three large beets in his mouth. At this point, his cheeks were bulging. Was she really not seeing this? I guess he managed to get a few morsels down because she shoveled yet another spoonful of kidney beans into his mouth. Soon her train stop came and she and her son and his mouthful of healthy, left the train car. At that point, everyone and I mean everyone, started to laugh and the rest of the train ride home was spent commenting on this poor child’s predicament. You gotta love the way that New Yorkers pull together sometimes.

bbff = null & void

2009-02-26T23:23:00.003-05:00

Sometimes it’s strange how life happens, how things change. You make decisions, you go places, you meet new people, and you learn new things. And naturally, the course of your life changes based on those decisions and those people you meet. That’s normal. But I think for the most part, as adulthood sets in, you have a better sense of what is permanent and what is not. Or at least you have a sense of what you would like to be enduring. What’s hard, I think, is when those hopes and plans for permanency take the opposite route and you are left standing without the security of that image in your head or that reality in your life.

A few nights ago I had dinner with someone* with whom I had lost contact with for a few years. At that particular breaking point, things were pretty bleak for me. I had been going through one of the darker periods of my life and this person had been my saving grace—always there, always supportive, always my friend. But as with many things, life happened and things changed. The friendship ended. No longer was this individual there for me. I was now standing alone.

The story of that difficult time isn’t my focus so I’ll spare those details. I don’t really know what I want to say here or even how to say it. It’s more of a need to express that the resurfacing of those strong emotions that I had once labored to bury is more difficult than I thought it would be. For years I have worked to move past this experience, to move past my desire for this particular friendship. Generally speaking, I have done extremely well. I have moved on. But I guess I’m just the kind of person that doesn’t ever completely forget the good times. I don’t forget that I really cared or loved this person as a dear friend. And I guess my heart hasn’t really forgotten that it still has a hole—though much smaller than it has been in the past.

The dinner was good. Catching up was nice. But I left feeling sad. I left missing those good times and I left missing my old friend. I don’t know what will happen in the future. But my feeling is that as soon as one of us moves away, that will be the end. I know that people come and go in our lives. I know that certain people are placed in our lives at different points for different reasons. And I know that not many things last forever. But the possibility of this finality, the death of that once-upon-a-time-forever-friends hope brings about a sadness for which I have not prepared.

*disclaimer--despite what has happened, I need to make it very, very clear that I still admire this amazing person--stellar individual, fantastic friend, someone I hope to be like one day.

if you see something, say something...

2009-02-20T11:27:00.000-05:00

The other day I was on the train riding home from work. I usually stand but that night I was dead tired and so I made my way to a seat in the corner. It was then that I noticed an extremely small laptop bag propped up against the wall. Had no one else noticed this? I pointed to the laptop and asked the gentleman next to me if it was his. He said no. I now had the attention of the people sitting across from me. It wasn’t theirs either and they hadn’t seen to whom it belonged. We all had a mini discussion about what to do with the bag and who would take ultimate responsibility for it. One man said if he took it, he probably wouldn’t turn it in. (Who says that?) Another man didn’t have the time. One woman ignored us. Finally my seat neighbor said that he was getting off in two stops and that he would turn it into the station agent. He looked trustworthy. However, as soon as that decision was made, it was at this moment that the oh-so effective MTA ads flooded my mind. “If you see something, say something.”

What if this laptop wasn’t just forgotten? I mean, really, who forgets their laptop?? What if it was planted? What if it was an explosive device or detonator? (Too much TV, perhaps?) Naturally, the train slowed to a snail’s pace and eventually stopped in between stations. We were being held momentarily and were then thanked for our patience. My mind turned back to the mysterious case and I wondered if death by an explosion would be painful and drawn out or quick and to the point. “Is anyone else freaking out yet,” I thought to myself. I started to get really impatient as we sat and sat for what was probably only a minute, at best. Finally the train started to move and I wanted to jump up and down with glee. The next two stops seemed like an eternity but arrived before I had nervous breakdown.
When the man stepped off the train with the laptop in hand, I wasn’t the only one to breathe an audible a sigh of relief.

25 Things

2009-02-18T23:15:00.003-05:00

So there has been this craze going around in the world of Facebook--"25 Things". You're supposed to come up with 25 random facts about yourself. You are then supposed to share it with 25 other people and the process continues as they come up with their own 25 things and then invite 25 more people to share. There has actually been some funny stuff going around about this particular "note" craze, but I jumped on the bandwagon still the same.

Anyway, it took me nearly 10 years to come up with 25 random facts about myself. And because I'm not a wasteful person, I didn't want to throw away all of that time & energy for just a Facebook entry. So in addition to my response to only the people that sent their random facts to me, I am posting it here for my future generations...Also, I didn't want my little blog to feel neglected. So here it goes:

1. I am huge fan of superhero/comic book movies. My brother (James) and I were close in age growing up so I learned from him. Batman, Superman, X-men, Transformers, etc. love them all. And if I could choose a superpower, I would choose Jean Gray’s ability to move/control things with her mind. How awesome would that be?

2. I LOVE to cook. I love cooking shows. I could watch them all day. I love cookbooks & magazines & recipes online. I also love kitchen gadgets & kitchen stores. I nearly salivate when I enter one (a kitchen store/department). I hope that one day when I grow up I will have a real kitchen…not a hallway kitchen.

3. I secretly want to sing my little heart out on stage like Whitney Houston back in the day when she was still fabulous and had it together (sad times now). She had an amazing vocal range, intense power behind her voice & a passion that was inspiring. Her rendition of the Star Spangled Banner still brings me to tears.

4. Making me laugh is the quickest way to my heart and the quickest way to put me at ease.

5. I LOVE celebrating birthdays and holidays—one problem though…it’s sometimes hard to not hold others to that same standard.

6. I have a strong belief in God. I believe that he is my Father and that I am his daughter. I believe that He loves me, is aware of me, and has a plan for me.

7. I am a Scorpio and as such am fiercely loyal. If you are my friend, I will defend you with my dying breathe, but if you violate my trust, you may never get it back. I also seem to hit pretty closely to other major Scorpio traits.

8. Sometimes I go to Barnes & Noble to just read children's books.

9. Massages and hot tubs are my favorite. If I had the cash flow, I would get a massage every week & would own my own hot tub.

10. I’m a sucker for a man who can play a musical instrument…especially the guitar…and if he’s in a band? oh. my….

11. The Office is one of the most brilliant shows ever created.

12. I wanted to come up with a list of my top 5 celebrity crushes but it is really hard to narrow it down to only 5. I came up with about 30, but I will only list a few here. They are definitely near the top: Christian Bale, John Krasinski, Johnny depp, Channing Tatum, & Bobby Flay. I know, they are all very different & none of them fit my typical dark hair, blue eyes type. Oh well. I love men.

13. I am a fraidy cat beyond all fraidy cats—which isn’t good when you live alone and in the hood. I mean, LOST even scares me.

14. I’ve always had a thing for boy bands. It started with New Kids & ended with NSYNC and BSB. I got in a yearlong fight with my cousin over New Kids’ coolness back in the day. I cried as Jordan Knight’s (NKOTB) white button-down shirt blew in the breeze at the Marriot Center. Brian Littrel (BSB) waved at me at a concert on my birthday and I once saw NSYNC in SLC and drove to Denver a day and a half later to see them again. JC Chasez & Justin Timberlake still have about the sexiest voices I have ever heard.

15. I’m a planner. I am getting better about spontaneity but if I don’t plan, I don’t get to see you.

16. Music speaks to me in a way that most other things can’t.

17. Fries & milkshakes=my biggest food weakness. I’m always up for these tasty treats during a diner excursion.

18. When I was little I would have epic Barbie adventures with my neighbor friend, Laura. At times they would last for days on end and would involve more props than your typical Broadway play and more twists in the plot than a soap opera.

19. I often fantasize about winning the New York lotto. The first two things I would do is pay off my student loans and remodel my mom's house. I would also help out my family, donate to some of my favorite causes, TRAVEL, and bank the rest. Oh, and I would probably move out of my crap-hole apartment & go to culinary school.

20. I don't know how to take naps.

21. I love my family so much it often makes me cry. I also miss them desperately.

22. I am a HOPELESS romantic--chivalry, thoughtfulness, and romance make my heart go pitter-pat. As such, I am OBVIOUSLY a fan of Mr. Darcy, Mr. Knightley, and Edward Cullen :)

23. I asked for a typewriter when I was 7 or 8. I have loved typing ever since. I can still, on occasion, be found playing typing games in my free time.

24. I love the smell of cologne on a man...or soap….mmmm and rain.

25. When I leave New York, whenever that is, I will sob like a baby.

question....

2009-02-15T21:28:00.004-05:00

Is it wrong that I kind of have a love affair with Tylenol PM? :)