in heat

Housing in New York has a life of its own. Not only is it a pain in the bum to even find housing, but it is also a bigger pain in the checking account--and sometimes that pain can become life threatening. But aside from any monetary woes I may drone on and one about and despite even the harried adventures of living in my particular building, there are some things that continually nag at me and send my temperature through the roof.

UTILITIES--heat in particular

For the first two years of living in New York, my former roommate and I took every conceivable measure to conserve heat. We never turned the valve on. We put plastic over our windows. We did all of those "conserving energy tips" found in those free utility booklets narrated by a friendly light bulb. Try as we might, we just couldn't get that bill down. Come to find out, we weren't paying for heat. It comes "free" with the building, "free" with our overpriced rent payment. So despite our great efforts to save, our cold mornings and freezing appendages were in vain (in regards to saving money). The minute we realized our folly, we cranked that baby up.

How lucky I was to have that type of control because now I have ZERO. My new apartment comes equipped with hissing and rattling radiators, but no valve. I canvased every inch of those things, but my search was futile because I never found one. On a particularly warm day when the radiator was radiating in all of its glory, I decided to dismiss my pride and ask my super the "dumb" question about where to find the valve. He told me that he controls the building's heat so there is no valve. He turns it on when he thinks it's cold.

The words took a moment to sink in and when they finally did, they sank to the bottom of my stomach and landed with a thud. I couldn't control the heat? That was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard! Given that my body temperature always seems to be 10 degrees higher than anyone else's, I knew--I just knew, that I would somehow whither up and die.

Four days ago, the temperatures outside were pleasant enough to wear a light jacket, yet the radiator blazed on. Windows were open and I slept with a sheet because the dumb thing didn't shut off. Five months ago, the same thing happened. But that was August! Now, it is just cold enough outside that I can't tolerate the chill that the outside brings so the window remains closed. The radiator is hissing now and the temperature in my apartment is close to comfortable. I pray that it will continue on this way. I hate being in a fight that I can't control.

sarah, sarah, no time is a good time for goodbye

So my dear friend Sarah just came back from an amazing, 3-month, African adventure. Needless to say, I am completely jealous. Jealous of her experiences, jealous of her bravery, and jealous that she is just cool enough to do something like that. This girl went with a solid plan that lasted about 3 weeks and then just winged it from there. There is no way that I could do something like that even if I tried. I would have surely ended up dead or stranded and you would have never heard from me again.

Anyway, on her way back home (Washington state), she made a short pit stop to the city. She told us of her adventures and showed us some amazing pictures. It was so good to see her. It was like she had never even left. That's when you know someone is a good friend...when you can just pick right up where you left off and things are just like they have "always" been. Aw, Sarah, I miss you!

home sweet kitchen

One of the perks of being at home is the luxury of using a full sized kitchen. It is a beautiful, beautiful thing. When I grow up and have a house of my own, my kitchen will be as decked out as it can possibly be...or at least as decked out as my wallet can sustain. It is a lovely thing to have an actual table, a full sink, counter space and a normal sized stove/oven. While New York kitchens are functional, they certainly limit what you can do. Gourmet is not always an option. But for the last 5 days and for the next 6, gourmet here I come!

its raining men

Something strange is definitely afoot. Over the last two weeks I have had more random men approach me, have received more phone numbers, and have been the recipient of more acts of gallantry than I have in a long time. I have had two serious dinner invitations from men just walking by. I have had my ear talked off at a work event, on the train, and on the sidewalk. One man offered to walk me home. Another offered to carry my groceries. Doors have been opened, words have been exchanged. Its been a strange phenomenon, I tell you. If only men that I'm interested in could pay me this much attention. Perhaps there is something in the water. Perhaps I should start bottling it...

get it together already

I don't know what my deal is, but I haven't posted in quite a while. I'm not really sure why. Things have happened. Noteworthy things. I have had thoughts. Some clever, some amusing, some worth sharing. But time passes, events come and go and I fall behind. So far behind, in fact, that I feel the need to recap those events before I can post about a new one. But the truth of the matter is I don't recap those events, which causes me to hold off on writing about the new ones, putting me even further behind.

Why am I posting now? Not sure. I'm not sure about a lot of things right now. About two months ago I had a plan. Now I have no plan. I have no idea what I want to do, where I want to be, etc. I'm extremely contemplative, but I can't make sense of my thoughts. I'm searching for answers, but coming up empty handed. I know this is just part of life, but come on! Get it together already!