true devotion

Amidst the thousands of reasons that I love the Fall, General Conference is among them. Finding myself in a place that I've never before been, I approached this round of Saturday sessions with questions and hope for answers. I could comment endlessly on the things that were shared, that which I heard and felt--but instead I wanted to comment on Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin's message. Whether he was cognizant of this or not, the power of Elder Wirthlin's message came not only through his words, but also his actions. While his prepared message of Charity and "what defines us" as members was something I needed to hear, what I found most profound was his delivery.

These last few years I have eagerly awaited his Conference addresses. He always seems to address topics that are of particular interest to me. He has this fabulously dry sense of humor which makes me laugh. And more than that, I adore it when he laughs at his own jokes or pauses for the congregation to catch on. I love this man. So as he began to share with us the feelings of his heart, those watching closely noticed a subtle shaking overcome his aging frame. As he continued to share his message of love, the shaking continued and got progressively worse. I, along with every member, I'm sure, began to worry for his immediate health. I wanted to reach out and steady him and wondered if he would need to sit down. Elder Nelson, at this point, came up from behind him and put his hand on his arm. I wasn't sure if he was trying to convince him to sit down or rather, he was simply steadying him.

The shaking continued. Elder Nelson stood by. The anxiety of those watching was tangible. And yet Elder Wirthlin continued. Gripping the sides of the podium and with intense focus, he read his talk, never skipping a beat. Despite uncontrollable shaking and labored breath, Elder Wirthlin finished his message of hope, bore his testimony of love and of the gospel, and resisted the all-to-easy option of just sitting down.

As I watched this beloved apostle struggle to make it to the end of his message I was struck by his devotion to his calling, to the gospel, and to God. He was not going to sit down without finishing what he was called to do. In my mind, in that moment, and even now, there was not a greater example of true discipleship or of how we should conduct our lives.

I'll be the first to admit that I have been wallowing lately. Not proud of it. Not done with it. That's just where I am. But Elder Wirthlin demonstrated today that life is not about "sitting down" even when things are extremely difficult. The inclination to do so is easy and almost natural. Instead what we should be doing is standing, gripping the sides of the podium, holding on with all our might to things that are true and things that steady us, and finish our assigned task--that which we call life.

I do not know what the future holds. I anticipate the journey to be arduous, but it's nice to know and it's good to see examples of faith and true devotion like what I saw today.