could it be worse?

"When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse."

"When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?"

Penned by Coldplay these depressing words seem to speak to me. Intense and emotional by nature, I find meaning in life through relationships. Money, prestige, power, career, opportunity--everything the world deems as important seems to pale in comparison with an intimate attachment to another person. In my mind's eye, nothing is more important than a friend or a family member, another human being. Loyalty, even before self-preservation.

But life has taught me that few people share this. The natural instinct to take the easy road or to bail when things are tough usually overpowers any inclination to make a continued effort--to make a sacrifice. Holding others to this same standard could be thought of as impractical or a little rigid. Many make that argument. But for me, when push comes to shove, when it is time to hit the pavement, I will not deviate. A promise is a promise and nothing will cause me to go back on my word. I do not understand the other option.

And so these words caught hold of me. Losing those I love is one of the greatest challenges that I will ever face in this lifetime. It is crippling. But I cannot think of a greater "hell on earth" than having someone you love choose to leave, choose to walk away, choose to break promise upon promise. Loving someone--not necessarily romantically (but those relationships would absolutely qualify)--and having them throw it back in your face is devastating. Love completely wasted. History, experiences, and feelings disregarded. Disposed, just like that. Selective selfishness over sacrifice. I ask you, could anything be worse? My answer? NO.

Fix You
http://youtube.com/watch?v=r259kFx3l7g