Now many people have been instrumental in helping me heal and to mourn. Countless friends, family members, and random people that I don't even know have touched me as they have helped me and my family--whether it was offering up a story about my dad, helping my mom with things at home, spending time with me, remembering anniversaries, or by simply saying, "I'm sorry." All of it has meant the world to me.
Two friends, in particular come to mind when I think of the phrase "mourn with those that mourn". And by singling these two people out, I don't mean to minimize the efforts of anyone else. These two people have just been on my mind recently--Rachel Galbraith and Karston Carr.
Rachel and I had gone to High School together. I was really first introduced to her through Seminary Council our Senior Year. Then we had some classes together in college and eventually ended up working at the same photography studio. The day after my father passed away, sweet Rachel called me on the phone. She managed to utter the words, albeit in a choked whisper, "I'm so sorry" before she began to sob. I was surprised and touched to be privy to such empathy. I had the sense that she knew a little more than others what it is like to lose a parent and because of that I felt very connected to her. She was a great support to me during that time and I will always be grateful. But more than anything, I will never forget that phone call when we just sat on the phone and cried. Truly she knew how to "mourn with those that mourn." Love you, Rach...
I have known Karston for years...since the 4th grade to be exact. He has been one of my best friends and I adore him because of who he is and how he has been a part of so many important events in my life. (I'm sorry to say that we haven't been so great about keeping in touch as of late, but he is a busy man with a wife, family, and medical school.) The very day my father passed away, Karston came to visit me. I remember opening the door and seeing him on the doorstep. His eyes were red and his actions were a bit tentative--because after all, what do you say to a friend who has just lost her parent? And yet he was there--ready and willing to do whatever needed to be done to make me feel better, to show his support and love. And I felt that love. Over the course of the following days, weeks, and months, Karston continued to be a solid presence in my life--not always knowing what to say, but always being there when I needed. Love you too, Karston...in a COMPLETELY friend-type of way. :)
Thank you to both of you and to all the many people who have made a difference in my life. I love you and will never forget you...
8 comments:
I remember that day. Your dad was very influential in my life. My heart reached out to all of you but especially James since he was far away from home. Your dad was an amazing man. I remember his funeral. It was amazing to say the least. THat beautiful choir and the bagpipes. I remember his shaved ice and how so much of my money went towards that. I'm so glad I have a copy of his CD. He was an amazing mand.
Malia- You made me cry, again ;) You are so sweet. Thank you for such kind words. How could I not cry with you? It's been 17 years since my dad passed away and I still have tender moments where I miss him. Love you too.
Oh dear Malia, I'm so glad Tara forwarded your blog to me. I cried as I read this post, for the sadness of loosing one's father, for your father who I admired so and for gratitude to hear that Karston had been there for you. Love you.
Maria
What neat friends you have in your life! There is nothing worse than losing someone close to you, but when we have those who can help us, and to mourn with us, and to just be there when it is too much to bear, it truly does seem to make things a little easier. You are such a sweetheart and we are all better for knowing you! Thanks for that touching tribute to your friends and to your dad. It helps us to remember those who mean the most to us and to think of all that others have done for us. Love you!
I'm so glad Karston was able to be there for you! I'm also so glad that Karston had someone like you to keep him in line. :) You should hear him talk about you. He really does think the world of you, and he should!! He was just saying the other day that he was sad I hadn't gotten to know you even better. Me too! I don't know what we're going to have to do to bribe you to come visit, but we'll think of something. :) We sure love you!!!!
I didn't know your dad very well, but I know he raised an amazing daughter! I was on my mission when he died and I remember hearing the sad news, crying, and praying for you far away. Families are forever. I love you!
what a hard thing to go through malia-- it's so good you had these amazing people at that time.
I too remember when your father died...I'm so sorry that you have had to deal with losing a parent but I am thankful that you have had wonderful people who have surrounded you and your family and loved you. You are an amazing person and everytime I hang out with the Horton's I think of you!!!:)
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