in heat

Housing in New York has a life of its own. Not only is it a pain in the bum to even find housing, but it is also a bigger pain in the checking account--and sometimes that pain can become life threatening. But aside from any monetary woes I may drone on and one about and despite even the harried adventures of living in my particular building, there are some things that continually nag at me and send my temperature through the roof.

UTILITIES--heat in particular

For the first two years of living in New York, my former roommate and I took every conceivable measure to conserve heat. We never turned the valve on. We put plastic over our windows. We did all of those "conserving energy tips" found in those free utility booklets narrated by a friendly light bulb. Try as we might, we just couldn't get that bill down. Come to find out, we weren't paying for heat. It comes "free" with the building, "free" with our overpriced rent payment. So despite our great efforts to save, our cold mornings and freezing appendages were in vain (in regards to saving money). The minute we realized our folly, we cranked that baby up.

How lucky I was to have that type of control because now I have ZERO. My new apartment comes equipped with hissing and rattling radiators, but no valve. I canvased every inch of those things, but my search was futile because I never found one. On a particularly warm day when the radiator was radiating in all of its glory, I decided to dismiss my pride and ask my super the "dumb" question about where to find the valve. He told me that he controls the building's heat so there is no valve. He turns it on when he thinks it's cold.

The words took a moment to sink in and when they finally did, they sank to the bottom of my stomach and landed with a thud. I couldn't control the heat? That was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard! Given that my body temperature always seems to be 10 degrees higher than anyone else's, I knew--I just knew, that I would somehow whither up and die.

Four days ago, the temperatures outside were pleasant enough to wear a light jacket, yet the radiator blazed on. Windows were open and I slept with a sheet because the dumb thing didn't shut off. Five months ago, the same thing happened. But that was August! Now, it is just cold enough outside that I can't tolerate the chill that the outside brings so the window remains closed. The radiator is hissing now and the temperature in my apartment is close to comfortable. I pray that it will continue on this way. I hate being in a fight that I can't control.