a serious case of the grumpies

As a child, did you ever get sent to your room? You know, the "go to your room for the rest of the night to think about what you did and don't come out until you feel sorry and will be nice again" type of sent to your room? For the most part I was a good kid. At least I thought I was and being sent to my room really only occurred when I would 1) fight with my brother or 2) when I got a "little" too competitive when playing board/card games as a family or 3) when I would talk back to my parents or 4) ....well, kids are kids, right?

Anyway, for the last two days I have had a serious case of the grumpies and wish that someone would have told me to go to my room and not come out until I can be nice again. Being a child and being subject to the will of a parent sometimes has its advantages. Adulthood, on the other hand, doesn't always lend itself to the luxury of "time outs" or "do-overs" and so I have to get over this on my own. I don't remember the last time I have been in a mood like this, but I sure don't like it.

I've snapped at co-workers. The smallest things annoy me. I hate the ran. I hate the heat. I hate my apartment. I miss my family. It's too expensive here. Why am I poor? I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I've even given attitude to complete strangers.

Case in point--Yesterday, as I was walking down the subway stairs a nice man was walking up them. It seemed as if he was putting his Metrocard back into his wallet. Instead, it fell to the ground behind him. He didn't notice. I got his attention and the conversation went like this:

Nice Me: "Oh, you dropped your Metrocard."

Nice Man: "Oh, it didn't have anything on it. Thanks anyway." He smiled appreciatively.

Mean Me: (with definite tone) "Oh....you littered." And I continued on my way. I didn't even pick up the dang card.

What is wrong with me? Call it what you want, but I think am a little burned out. No excuse, I know, but I think that's what it really is and I eagerly await a recharge in whatever form it decides to come. I'm hoping that a good dose of church and really amazing people will be just what the doctor ordered. If that doesn't work, I am sending myself home straightaway until I can be nicer...or at least until Monday morning comes and I have to be an adult and go to work again.