all i have to do is dream...

Ah, REM, that blessed part of sleep where the imagination runs wild, the stage associated with processing emotions, retaining memories, and relieving (or reliving) stress. Depending upon your personal cycle, one will usually experience three to five episodes of Dream Sleep (REM) each night. Strange that we don’t remember them all.

I’m a dreamer and by that I don’t mean that I am a “dream the impossible dream” type of girl…although I do tend to fantasize about the impossible more often than I care to admit. What I mean by dreamer is that I usually remember at least one or two of my dreams every night. It baffles me that others aren’t the same way. Talk about missing out! Although I have had my share of terrifyingly upsetting dreams, I also have my share of fun, exciting, and hopeful ones as well.

Last night’s fit into that latter category.

Sparing you the details of a somewhat confusing dream, what I remember most is that I “had” a baby. Don’t remember giving birth or the other fun steps leading up to that blessed event but I had one still the same. The other wrap-me-in-blankets-of-love moment was when I happened to remember who the father was and how excited and pleased we were with our masterpiece of a creation. (For the record, I cannot even begin to imagine the connection two people must feel after that experience. I’m sure it is amazing!)

Needless to say, I woke up with somewhat of a crush on the father of my baby and find myself wishing I was still asleep. But more than that it reminded me of two things:

1. I really do want children. Lately I’ve been realizing how much work it takes to be a parent…a good parent, at that. It must be physically and emotionally exhausting. Making sure that they are cared for, fed, clothed, taught the things that they need to know to thrive, to excel, to become spiritually sound. It must be heart-wrenching to watch your child struggle in life, to see them friendless, teased, to watch how life can sometimes be so disappointing and unfair. It’s a lot of pressure and I’ve seen what happens when parents fail to fully perform. But despite it all, there is something within in me that absolutely wants children and is up to the challenge. I’m sure the blessings of parenthood far outweigh every sleepless night, every neglected task, every changed schedule, every sacrifice. That being said…

2. I want a good husband. Now this seems obvious to most. Everyone wants a good companion, an equal and loving partner. But I want someone who is GOOD...really GOOD. I’ve always been a sucker for nice guys. I am drawn to men who have good hearts and who strive to do what is right no matter what. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, life has dealt me a hand where these guys don’t typically reciprocate my feelings…especially as of late. As a result, questions like “does it really matter” have taken up residence in my brain and I have faltered a bit in my resolve. However, last night’s “husband” is a very good man. One of the best I am acquainted with—of that I am sure. Sadly, we don’t really spend much time together, nor have we ever, really. I’m not even sure if we are compatible. But what I know is that he has the qualities of a good man, the qualities of a good husband. I’m sure that this crush will fade soon, but for now, he is the face of my personal course corrector—something that I really needed…when I needed it the most.

Oh those poor souls who can’t remember their dream sleep. Aside from the physical benefits of completing a full sleep cycle, it’s clear that dreams can serve more than one purpose…for me anyway…

And to my dream husband...thanks, babe. :) (I'm really not as crazy as I may appear right now.)