dear chivalry, i like you. love, malia

There's something wrong with the world when kindness and chivalrous behavior take me by surprise. Tonight I went out with a friend whose company I really enjoy. As always, we had a great time, stimulating conversation, and some fabulous food. Throughout the evening he continuously doled out little surprises like helping me with my coat, complimenting me on seemingly unnoticeable things, helping me to step over a slushy puddle mess by taking my hand. I loved it. My heart warmed with each instance. It was not uncommon for him to do this.

So the question is, why is it that some men deem it their privileged role to be gentlemanly, while others in their same age bracket reserve those simple gestures for only those in whom they are interested. Kindness is never wasted, nor does it cause true affection to depreciate and yet there are still those who refrain from these actions for fear that they are sending the wrong message. I would think that kindness spread universally would actually work to their favor rather than the opposite. What woman, attached to a particular man or not, does not appreciate being a recipient or observer of that type of behavior? I would venture to say that unless he was a greasy stalker, non-discriminatory, basic chivalry always garners a man extra points.

Now there are many men who are kind, many who naturally treat women this way. They do exist. I guess I just find it strange that far too often, I am surprised by these occurrences. Perhaps it says something about me? Maybe I don't notice? Maybe I don't give men the opportunity to show these kindnesses? Perhaps there isn't something wrong with the world, but rather, something wrong with me? It's something to think about, I suppose.