makuakane, aloha au ia 'oe

Thank goodness for music and for the modern day technologies that allow us to record it. For the last hour I have been listening to the same two songs over and over again: My Yellow Ginger Lei and Ke Kali Nei Au (the Hawaiian Wedding song). Yes, sometimes I just want to hear the songs of the islands, but more often than not, I just want to hear my dad. That is the case tonight. I just wanted to hear my dad’s beautiful voice sing the music that he loved. Though the voices of the Aloha Islanders blend beautifully, I can still hear him over the others…a discovery that I revel in every single time.

Now, I’m not writing for sympathy or because I have a desire for others to drown in my sorrow with me. I just needed another way to get it all out. I needed something more than an hour’s worth of music to help me get through the evening.

It’s been ten years, two months and six days since I last saw him; ten years, two months and five days since I last heard his voice over the phone. It’s hard to believe that much time has actually passed and yet I remember the day he died just like it was yesterday. The memory of it continues to stop me in my tracks as I remember the details of it all. I miss him. I will always miss him. But there are days that I miss him more than others. I suppose today is just one of those days. I suppose that all of us, every now and again, just need a good cry. 

Makuakane, aloha au ia 'oe...