I just decided that I am really not equipped to live alone. It’s not that I don’t have everything I need to be self-sufficient…nor does it mean I don’t enjoy the alone time, the flexibility, the absolute freedom that comes with living by yourself. It’s just that I’m a bit of a fraidey cat. Perhaps if I lived in a better building, I would be singing a different tune right now, but honestly, folks, sometimes I just get scared.
Granted, my overactive imagination does nothing to help me with this problem. I am the queen of worst-case scenarios. Just now someone rang my doorbell and my mind began to race. A normal person, when they get a knock on their door, would think, “Hey! Someone is coming to visit me!” They would jump up from what they were doing, check the peephole, and would then answer the door. If you were me, however, you would freeze in your tracks and as quietly as humanly possible retreat to the bedroom, the farthest place from the door. Also, you would start to think of exit strategies, fighting tactics, whether or not you could actually use a knife to defend yourself, and what you would say to the emergency dispatch should the situation necessitate a 911 call.
And so with that unexpected ring of my doorbell, I did just that. I tiptoed to the bedroom. I debated whether or not I should put some clothes on (I was just about to work out) and decided that I should put my sneakers on just in case. Then I sat down and pulled out my phone. Much to my dismay, my phone was “searching” for a signal. How terribly inconvenient. If I needed to make that emergency phone call, there was no way that I could because my “now more coverage than ever” T-Mobile phone plan wasn’t picking up a signal. Should I die, T-Mobile would be partially responsible.
Just to finish out the story, I didn’t die. I was even able to exercise and cook dinner in peace. I am pretty sure that I will even be able to fall asleep and stay asleep unless someone visits me again at 2:30 in the morning. (Yes, that happened last week.) So much for my home being a complete haven from the world. But here’s to hoping it will be.
(P.S. If you are wondering why I am so paranoid, just come for a little visit. But before you come, call me so that I know you are coming…otherwise I probably won’t answer the door.)
Granted, my overactive imagination does nothing to help me with this problem. I am the queen of worst-case scenarios. Just now someone rang my doorbell and my mind began to race. A normal person, when they get a knock on their door, would think, “Hey! Someone is coming to visit me!” They would jump up from what they were doing, check the peephole, and would then answer the door. If you were me, however, you would freeze in your tracks and as quietly as humanly possible retreat to the bedroom, the farthest place from the door. Also, you would start to think of exit strategies, fighting tactics, whether or not you could actually use a knife to defend yourself, and what you would say to the emergency dispatch should the situation necessitate a 911 call.
And so with that unexpected ring of my doorbell, I did just that. I tiptoed to the bedroom. I debated whether or not I should put some clothes on (I was just about to work out) and decided that I should put my sneakers on just in case. Then I sat down and pulled out my phone. Much to my dismay, my phone was “searching” for a signal. How terribly inconvenient. If I needed to make that emergency phone call, there was no way that I could because my “now more coverage than ever” T-Mobile phone plan wasn’t picking up a signal. Should I die, T-Mobile would be partially responsible.
Just to finish out the story, I didn’t die. I was even able to exercise and cook dinner in peace. I am pretty sure that I will even be able to fall asleep and stay asleep unless someone visits me again at 2:30 in the morning. (Yes, that happened last week.) So much for my home being a complete haven from the world. But here’s to hoping it will be.
(P.S. If you are wondering why I am so paranoid, just come for a little visit. But before you come, call me so that I know you are coming…otherwise I probably won’t answer the door.)
9 comments:
Oh Malia! I will pray for your continued safety! I admire you for being brave enough to live alone! If it makes you feel better, I do the same thing when my doorbell rings! Only now, there's no hiding. My almost four year old has figured out how to open the door WITH the safety knob on it...oh boy! Time for that "don't open the door for anyone you don't know" speech I guess!
Haha adventures in your building!! I loved this story - good mental image.
I do that a lot too, but it's usually just because I don't want to see anyone :)
oh that building, I know too well, but as the neighbours have said, it is getting safer and safer!
dear malia. i think you deserve a housing upgrade. from jake.
I'm sorry living alone makes you nervous. You aren't paranoid, you're just smart. You can't ever be too careful! Love you! Stay safe!
Oh this makes me sad. I hope you're able to find some peace in your apartment, or a peaceful apartment.
You should come live in Evanston. We're pretty safe here, and I'd love to have you close enough to see more. But I'd also love to come see you in NYC first! LOL
I actually did almost the same thing just tonight. Someone rang my doorbell (my husband is out-of-town) and I thought maybe I should just ignore it and tiptoe away, but my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to check the peephole and found that it was our nice old neighbor inviting us to a neighborhood dinner. So you aren't crazy... you are actually justified! Stay safe!
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